Battle For My Soul

Cherstin or Desi - whichever of you might read this first - would you please re-do my blog?????  Please????  I tried but undid what I did because it didn't do what I thought I remembered Desi showing me to do...and I didn't want to have to go through what Desi had to go through to undo the craziness that I had done on the last one trying to do it by myself...as if I could anyway...tech challenged!  Fun, pretty, cute, doesn't matter - just something different than Christmas, okay?  Please!!!  Consider it help for the aged!!!  LOL

I thought I would update about Rich's health, especially since I caused quite a stir by not doing that last week.  We saw our PCP this week, she did an EKG and his heart is back in sinus rhythm.  Yea!!!!  His beat is still a little irregular but that may never be different because of the branch bundle pathway in his heart - which is genetic.  His blood pressure was perfect, as was his pulse and so she cleared him to continue exercising and to stay off the meds they took him off - at least until he sees his new cardiologist on the 7th.  Obviously, he needs to be careful and ease into this, being aware of his body, but he is able to exercise and should.  He had also dropped a pound and she was pleased about that - he has just had a slow but continued drop in weight and that is probably what spurred all of the problems - his meds need to change, whether it is dosage or maybe not even needing some them.  It is so remarkable to me to remember where he was in November - not even 15 months ago - and to see him today.  I am very grateful for his life and for the improvement in his health.  On a side note - he saw his pulmonologist in December and his FEV1 was at 40% - the best that it has been in literally YEARS!!!!   

So - he and I have been going to the gym every evening after work.  He has been walking on the treadmill and I have been riding the recumbent bike.  Yesterday he put in 3 miles and I did 13.5 miles and then swam for 40 min.  Today I think I am going to change that though - we have been going to the gym after I pick him up from work - but that means that we're not eating until 9-10 at night.  I think we need to reverse the order so we will eat first and then go...and come home for a little protein snack afterward rather than a full meal.  This is my analysis as I have noted that neither he nor I have lost any weight so far this week and I think the late meals may be the reason - although I also think my body does better with morning exercise - but we'll have to see how that goes in a week or so.  I really enjoy going with Rich and we are having a blast.  We also enjoy the fact that we can walk or use the bike in the "movie" room at the gym and we sure have caught movies that we haven't seen.  Yesterday we watched "Old Dogs" - a Walt Disney movie with John Travolta and Robin Williams.  We hadn't seen it because neither Rich nor I are really fans of Robin Williams - but we laughed and did enjoy it while we pedaled along. 

On Wednesday Rich had an appointment with his trainer at lunch time and I had an appointment with mine at 1 pm. so we went together and I went to the movie room while Rich was working with his trainer.  They were showing the last Indiana Jones movie and I was just pedaling along, but there came a scary part and I jumped and let out my proverbial scream - I was relieved that there were only about 5 people in there but they all laughed!  I was glad that it was dark because I was pretty red faced!  LOL

Wednesday, as I was working with my trainer, I couldn't help but notice how many older and elderly clients were working with trainers.  There were people with canes and walkers and even crutches.  And we come in all shapes, sizes, and weights.  There are plenty, plenty, PLENTY of young, buff, energetic people working out too but it nice to see people our ages and older working to maintain or improve health.  I had to hearken back to April and realize how far I have come - then I could barely hobble from the front door of Wal Mart to the motorized carts.  Now I walk the store with relative ease and many days I am medication free...that's saying something.  I still have a very long way to go - but this isn't a race and it is something that I will have to do for the rest of my life.  I can feel the difference when I don't get the exercise in for a few days - my joints stiffen terribly and the pain returns with a vengeance.

I have been reading and studying a talk given by Melvin J. Ballard in 1921 and reprinted in the New Era in 1984 entitled, "Struggle for the Soul."  Wow!  Talk about prophetic!!!  It has given me much to ponder and I have been considering the counsel and warning as it applies to me.  I don't have much problem with pornography, prostitutes, gambling, drinking, drugs, or the like.  However, I have long struggled with weight and exercise.  Part of that struggle is genetics, getting the correct diet for my body, understanding true body functioning principles, etc.  But I have long felt that this was a battle for my soul.  In fact, when Dr. May told me that I needed to consider gastric bypass because what I was and had been doing wasn't working and I was a train wreck waiting to happen,  I told her that I felt that this was something that I needed to battle, something I needed to overcome.  I told her that I couldn't ever see me eating just 2-3 tablespoons of food for the rest of my life, and I have known many people who have had the procedure (or some type like it) but never known it to not have unintended consequences and side effects (some life threatening) and I had never known anyone to get to their goals and to keep the weight off.  The truth is that it is still a battle, no matter how radical the surgery to alter the body.  Mentally and spiritually you still have to subjugate the body - and if you don't you will still lose the battle. 

Elder Ballard explains doctrinally why it is so important to fight the battle and win.  He explains what is at stake and how the adversary uses our lusts, appetites, and passions to destroy us.  He talks about the soul being made up of our spirit and our body - and that we came to this earth to receive a body so that we could become like our Father in Heaven - on condition that we (our spirits) are able to subdue, subjugate, and control our bodies.  If we don't do that then our bodies have control and Satan will use our bodily appetites, passions, lusts, and weaknesses to bring our spirits under his control - to destroy our freedom to act for ourselves - to be in his power - to win the battle he is in against the Lord.  Obviously we know the outcome of that battle - but the battle for our own souls is in doubt if we yield to the temptations of the devil.  Truly, Satan doesn't care about us - he just cares about thwarting our Father in Heaven and winning the war he started so long ago - we are just collateral damage to him.  How grateful I am to the Lord for his prophets who teach and warn me, for the Atonement, for my body that can and will respond to my spirit no matter how inexperienced and weak my strength to do so is at this moment, that I know that as I increase my efforts and consistency that my spirit will gain more and more strength and control, and that my Heavenly Father wants me to win this battle and will do everything in His power to help me - if I will just call on Him for His aid and do my part.   How cool is that????   Thanks to my Father in Heaven, right now I am winning that battle one day, one moment, one mouthful, one step at a time.