A number of years ago, when we lived in El Centro, I had the privilege to work with a dear sister in the Young Women's program. Whenever a challenge would come up, some kind of difficulty, opportunity to serve, whatever, Sister Shareen Touchet would chime in with "Blessings! Blessings!!" Whenever I say that I can actually hear her voice, intonation, and smile...and I have to smile myself. I would bet that Desi, Cherstin, and even Felicia have to smile too.
The first talk that Elder Bednar ever gave at General Conference, when he was called as a new Apostle, he talked about the "tender mercies" of the Lord. I frequently think about the tender mercies that He continues to bless me with and never more so than I have the last few weeks.
I think about that as I realize that it has been a tender mercy for the Lord to allow Joey and his little family to move to Ohio. It has afforded us the opportunity to be in their home, be in attendance at special events, and to hold and love this little family that we have not had too much before. In November we had the opportunity to go there and witness the baptism of Scarlett. What a sweet young woman she is growing into. Rich was able to be one of the witnesses at her baptism and to also stand in the Priesthood circle at her confirmation. Joey's blessing was tender and full of emotion as he recounted to her the many gifts that she has and how she might use them throughout her life. One of the gifts that he noted was that she has a great exuberance for life, an openness and willingness to greet everyone as if they were long lost buddies and that she would be a light to all who are around her. Boy! Is that ever true!!! She is about as loving and open as any person I have ever known.
I think about the opportunity we had to spend Thanksgiving and have a family reunion together...the financial impact, the distances some had to travel, the inconvenience of those in Wisconsin facing the hordes of family visitors, the opportunity for everyone to be there and to have family pictures...it was truly a multitude of tender mercies that allowed us to do that.
I consider my trip out west after the reunion...the ease of it, the safety, the safe arrival of Rich in Tennessee and his trip out to be with me for Christmas, the opportunity to see Felicia and spend some time with her, the opportunity to gather again with many of my extended family for the Christmas season, to be there when two great-nieces were born, and the opportunity to be with my Dad - oh, the tender mercies that allowed me to do that are too many to count.
But the tender mercies just kept coming as we headed north and east to be able to be in Wisconsin for the blessing of little Oliver. Although it was the dead of winter we were able to spend a day in Westminster, with Desi and Mike and Emily and Mordecai before we had to continue on. When I think of how lucky we are to have children so strategically placed throughout the U.S. that we have the opportunity to touch base with them and to see them, if even for only a few hours, during our travels, I am in awe and humbled to recognize both their goodness and kindness in welcoming us into their homes and the Lord's hand in bringing us safely through those very many hours of travel and difficult weather conditions.
We were literally directed and protected on our journey to Wisconsin. We were even privileged to be there in time to take William and Orion to visit Hannah and Oliver in the hospital. We were privileged to see the love and excitement of those two little boys to see their Daddy and Mommy...even though I doubt the significance of Oliver's arrival really meant much to William at the moment. And, because of the tender mercies of the Lord, Hannah's folks and youngest brother were able to be there too, the very first time they had been able to make it for one of Hannah's and Phil's babies. And it all culminated with the blessing of Oliver by his Daddy, with both grandfathers and Uncle Robert joining in that sacred event. And the Lord just continued to pour out His protective influence over our two little families in Wisconsin, Hannah's folks, and us as we traveled home.
Just a week later we had the opportunity to travel to Ohio to see Joey, Carlie, and the kids and to be there when Gideon was ordained a deacon. Despite record snow and cold we still were able to find a window of opportunity to be there to share that event, as were dear friends, Mike and Vida Preston. What a blessing that day was - Gideon and I share the same birthday, I had the opportunity to watch him take this very important step, Joey was preparing to leave the very next day for an extended TDY and yet he was still able to be there to ordain Gideon, Mike and Vida were able to come and we could catch up and remember old times, and we got to spend time with Carlie, Glory, Scarlett, Levi, and Reah as well.
We returned home to Tennessee and I set to work on making a blessing dress for Ruby. As I contemplated the huge expense that these dresses are I started to wonder how it was that I could do them but bring the costs down some. Rich and I talked about it and we decided that I ought to open a business - hoping that because of a business license I might be able to purchase supplies at a wholesale rate - and that it really would enable me to bring the costs down. Rich ran the process down for me and I applied, the business was granted the zoning considerations, and I got the license. As a result I have been able to purchase supplies at a considerable less expense, been able to make the dress, and have had people express interest in learning heirloom sewing...something that I would love to teach and hope to do.
As I make each dress, article of clothing, or quilt I have lots of time to contemplate life in a more philosophical way...I am surrounded with memories of my Grandmother Roskelley and my Mom teaching me to sew, crochet, embroider and do the things that I have grown to love. How wonderful it is to have the time to reflect on them and the wonderful influences they have been in my life. With each stitch that I take I have the opportunity to consider our Heavenly Father's great and wonderful plan, how we fit in the grand scheme of things and contemplate the greatness of the new little spirit that we are being entrusted with. I am eager to meet each of them, to learn of and from them, and excited to see the tapestry of our lives become even more colorful, strong, and beautiful because they were true and faithful in their first estate. I often wonder what my relationship with them was in our heavenly home, what ties are there that have bonded us and will bind us throughout the eternities?
After just a few weeks at home I flew out to Denver so that I could be with Desi and her little famly and Ruby. When I consider that I had reservations but, because Ruby decided to come early, I needed to purchase new ones, and that we were able to find the new reservations at basically the same cost as the ones we had purchased weeks earlier - that was indeed a tender mercy. I was able to spend two weeks with our little Rogers family and am so grateful that I could share that time with them. I must say that I didn't really do much to help, as always seems to be the case, but I loved being there and I am grateful for the opportunity. It seems to me that these events are precious in so many ways - but one that I am most conscious of right now is the opportunity to see a moment in time in the lives of those I so love. I almost feel like I'm a peeping tom or something! But seriously, how sweet is it to be able to know what are the kids' favorite stories or movies, what they like to eat, their friends, their routines, their humor, their lives?
In March we again headed north to Ohio to see Joey, Carlie and the kids. Joey was preparing to leave that week for 6+ months in Iraq. We didn't want to intrude on the last couple of days that he would have with them but we did want to be able so say good bye. I have no words to describe the depth of my emotions or thoughts about him and his little family. I wonder if, in our next life, we will be hampered by such inability. There just aren't words. I pray for his safety and for the safety of his family. I pray that each of us, in our family, has him and them in their prayers, daily. I pray for his safe return. For some reason I feel much more apprehensive than when he has been deployed before...probably because it is for a longer time that he will be away...it isn't dread...just anxiety. Perhaps I am becoming more aware of all the things that could go wrong or maybe I'm just getting old. LOL Anyway, he is in theater now and I just heard from him yesterday. He is "keeping his head down" in light of the increased threat due to Osama bin Laden's assassination. So far so good - and only 22+ weeks to go! If those aren't tender mercies I don't know what they are!!!!
In March Dad developed a series of serious infections that required hospitalization, and finally surgery to take out his gall bladder. Both the infections and the anesthesia accelerated his cognitive decline but he was finally discharged and spent a few weeks at St. Joseph's Villa for recouperation and therapy. We were scheduled to head out to Utah anyway because of Felicia's graduation but Rich and I talked and decided on another course of action. We drove out to Desi and Mike's (via Midwest City to see Cherstin, Dan and the kids) for the blessing of Ruby and then Rich flew back to Tennessee and Felicia and I drove back to Utah. Rich joined me 10 days later so that we could be there for Felicia's graduation and then we drove home.
Over the weeks that I was there with Dad he would lament that he didn't know why the Lord wouldn't just let him go...that perhaps the Lord didn't want him. I have thought about that so many times...why has the Lord allowed him to stay? I have told Dad that I think it is because of the Lord's tender mercies that he is still with us. Unfortunately I think Dad is having to endure the trials of eternity so that we, his children, might have the opportunity to have him in our midst longer and so that we might learn some of the special things that we still need to learn.
My brothers orchestrated their lives, family responsibilites, and business and church callings around the needs of Dad while he was in the hospital and at St. Joseph's. Each spent hours with Dad so that he wasn't alone. Because they did this they have precious memories that will forever be with them. Because they did this they learned so much about Dad and his life and legacy for us.
One day Chad and I were talking and Chad shared some of the things that Dad had been telling him. Being the oldest, I knew what I hadn't realized Chad didn't. It is an interesting thing to realize that because I am the oldest I have memories that my brothers don't...but because I left home and they were still there they have memories that I don't. Together we are able to make some semblence of the pieces and patterns of Dad's life. If I had one piece of counsel to give it would be to keep a record of our lives, daily. So often I have started, and stopped, started, and stopped. I wish I hadn't ever stopped. You think you'll always remember - but memories fade, events are forgotten, and our lives end up with huge holes in them. What may seem mundane is not. What may seem inconsequential is not. In fact, what does it say about the value we place on the lives of those we love and even ourselves if we will not choose to document them by simply recording the events of our lives, the things with which we occupy our time, our humor, our thoughts, our struggles, our very existence?
As my brothers and I work together to provide the care we know Dad needs I have high hopes that the unity that has eluded us for so many years will rule the day. I can see it coming. Perhaps one of the reasons that the Lord hasn't taken Dad yet is so that we may become one, knit together in unity and love, both for him and for each other.
When we were at Desi and Mike's for Ruby's blessing we had the opportunity of spending time with Mike's parents, John and Kathryn, and Dan's parents, Dave and Karen. Again, is it not just one of the most wonderful of tender mercies to be able to get to know and love the parents of the child who loves your child? Isn't it just so tender and special to know that they love your child too? And you love theirs? Could there be anything more wonderful? I don't think so...it just gives you a moment to pause and reflect on the truth that we really are all brothers and sisters of our Heavenly Father's family.
As we talked with John and Kathryn about their mission I had the best time learning about genealogy and family history and what needs to be done. Kathryn shared a thought that has reverberated with me. She noted that we are "bridge generation" - our ancestors only knew paper, pen and pencil on which to record the events of their lives. Our children's generation use the computer and tech devices for everything they do. Our generation is the one that uses both and can and must move the records from one type of repository to another. We're kind of like Moroni - the abridger - when you think of it. Hopefully we will preserve and care for the original documents of our ancestory but it is equally, but maybe even more important, for us to get these things into a state so that they can be shared and prepared for the things to come.
I thought about that conversation over and over again as I went through files and boxes at Dad's. I decided that I would take, as much as I could, home with me so that I could begin to do this very important work. The ironic thing is that I am practically the least technological person on the planet!!! LOL But I am hopeful about learning and doing this important work. And I know that I need to do as much as I can while I still have Dad with me...he and his generation are leaving us. So much of what needs to be done is the preservation of photos and the weeding through of duplication to find the holes that need to be filled. I can do this!
Returning home via Denver and Midwest City we again got to see our beloved families there, even though there were just a few hours at Cherstin's. We were glad though, that we left when we did. We drove through the night and had tornado warnings all about us. The skies were swirling and black, with pelting rain and hail for most of the way. That night and the next day and night (a 24 hour period) was the worst outbreak of tornados in the history of the U.S. A swath from Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, South and North Carolia has been mowed over. So far that are over 350 lives lost, many hundreds more still unaccounted for, untold millions, even billions, in damage...and yet we are safe. We are safe. Just one more of the the countless tender mercies of our Heavenly Father in our lives. We are so grateful.
Today I am making preparations to return to Wisconsin and to Midwest City for the births and blessings of our little Hyrums later this month and in June. With Wanda due the 20th and Cherstin due the 29th there is a lot of excitement. I find my daughters love, compassion, and support of one another so pure and unselfish...it brings tears to my eyes. Wanda recently called me and expressed surprise that I was still coming to be with her. I had been talking to Hannah and told her that I would bring a pattern that she wanted with me when I came. Hannah had been surprised and I know that she had anticipated that she would be there to help Wanda because I would be needed at Cherstin's. Evidently she told Wanda and so Wanda called me...and she wanted me to know that although I was welcome, she would certainly understand that Cherstin might actually have the greater need because she has young children and not the ward support or family that she does. In contrast, Desi and Cherstin are aware of the tremendous need that Wanda and Hannah might have so they have devised a plan for Desi to go to Cherstin's and help her and the children so that I am free to go to Wisconsin. I tell you, I stand in the presence of Angels! I am in awe of their perfect love and support. Thank you for being the kinds of daughters I could only dare hope to have. I love each one of you (Wanda, Hannah, Desi, Cherstin, Carlie, and Felicia) so much and wish you each a very happy mother's day. Blessings! Blessings!!!!
