Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Joseph James Pehrson - Dad

At 3:01 a.m. my phone rang.  Mike was calling with the expected news that Dad had slipped the bonds of this earth and been reunited with Mom, his mother and father, sister, and extended family in those glorious courts on high. 

Just a week ago today I sat in the Nauvoo Temple with Felicia as she received her endowment.  My mind was crowded with emotions and thoughts that kept coming, unbidden and not easily dismissed, of her wedding and festivities that were impending the following day.  Rich, Wanda, Joey, Phil, Hannah, Cherstin, Brittany, and Tom were all in attendance.  Carlie, Robert, Dan, and Julia had all elected to stay at the hotel with the children so that their spouses and daughter could be there with Felicia.  Mike was back in Denver with his little brood so that Desi could come...but Desi was en route from the airport in St. Louis, racing to  make that 5 pm session.  My sadness was gut-wrenching when the Temple President decided to close the door and proceed with the session.  I didn't know where Desi was and my sadness was profound.   I thought how that feeling must be so similar to those of loved ones waiting for their spouses, children, parents and siblings on the other side and yet, because of choices and events in this life, the door was closed and eternity rolled on.  I knew that Desi was doing all that she could to be there...but she was missing.

The session continued and I struggled to lose the forboding that continued to envelope me.  I wondered where she was, had she given up and gone back to the hotel, was she okay?  I sat in a session that taught of the greatest love story ever told - of our Heavenly Father and His desire to bring each of His children home and the efforts of our Savior to assist in that great work and I didn't know where Desi was...was she home?  It is not usual that I am the first through the veil - but I was on that occasion and there are not words to describe the joy I felt when I entered the Celestial Room and found Desi, sitting on a couch, waiting for the rest of us.  Again I marvelled at those feelings, knowing that they must be somewhat similar to those who are waiting for us on the other side and for us who are anxious to reunite with loved ones gone ahead.  I thought of Mom waiting for Dad and Dad's desire to be with Mom and wondered how much longer they would have to wait.  I thought of covenants made by each of us and prayed that we would all work with all our might to keep those covenants and to repent so that we could all enter into that glory - to be together forever.  Heaven just won't be complete without each one that I love there.  I thought of how much each of us are a work in progress - and - knowing that salvation is a personal endeavor - prayed that each of us would undertake that work...to renew our covenants, repent, study, develop our testimonies, and seek to know the Lord.  It is not a work that can be done for anyone else...and really...putting aside my own pride and selfish endeavors is hard enough for me.  I also thought of how exaltation is a family endeavor - that we can never give up praying for one another, serving one another, being kind, worrying about, and loving each other with all our might...even when it seems hopeless.  It's really about keeping our covenants and trusting in the Lord - knowing that each of us are His work and desiring to be involved in His work in whatever way He needs us to be.

One day each of us will return "home" just as Dad has done today.  We will see the reality of the eternities.  We will know in every fiber of our being whether or not we qualify for the blessings of being together forever.

On many occasions after Mom passed away, Dad and I discussed these very same principles and doctrines.  He was reading the scriptures voraciously, listening to talks on BYUtv, reading books by general authorities, and searching his very soul.  He had no doubt that Mom qualified for all that our Father has to offer His children...but he wasn't sure that he would ever be good enough.  I bought him "Believing Christ" and "Following Christ" - both by Stephen Robinson, knowing that what he was experiencing was grief and he just needed the reassurance of all that he already knew and the hope and faith to continue to endure without Mom at his side.  What I witnessed in Dad was most remarkable to me.  His prayers were for the Lord to help him understand what he needed to learn and do and to know the Lord's will.  There was NEVER any recrimination or anger - just the tender pleadings of Dad to understand and accept Mom's passing and the desire to do whatever the Lord wanted him to do.  He knows the gospel is true, that Jesus is our Savior and Redeemer, and that we can all be together - forever.  And his most urgent desire is for all of us to receive these truths for ourselves - so that we can be a forever family.  Tonight he has returned home.  It is my prayer that we all do whatever it takes to do the same.  I love you, Dad and Mom.

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