Yesterday was a beautiful sabbath and I was so blessed to attend church.  Sometimes I wonder why and how it is that so many count themselves "spiritual" but not "religious".  I feel so grateful that I was raised in the church and that my ancestors recognized the truthfulness of the gospel and joined the church.  I have no idea why I was allowed to come to the home I did, but I am sooooo grateful!  From my earliest recollections I have known the truth for myself.  When I was a teen I remember sitting in my room, on my bed, looking in a mirror and asking, "who am I?" and tossing the mirror aside and answering myself with, "this is stupid!  I am a child of God!"  

Today I went to the church and practiced the organ, got Moroni's birthday box ready, did a little shopping, and Rich and I went to our family home evening group. Again, what a blessing to have such great friends.

Also - today we were surprised with the glorious news that the kids are planning a family reunion in March!  At Kitty Hawk!  How cool is that?  I have no idea what all they plan but I'm so touched by their efforts to put this together at such great sacrifice to each of them!  How blessed am I?

I awoke this morning with thoughts of actually accomplishing something!  But, alas, I still was experiencing some nausea and instead headed back to bed.  Rich and I found ourselves watching "Bones" - somewhat reminiscent of our many hours watching programs when we've been struggling with health concerns over the past few years. 

Many years ago, when Cherstin was just a baby, Lexie and I took a basic smocking class from a lady who lived in a nearby village in Germany.  It was something I wanted to do and was delighted that Lexie wanted to do it too...it's always more fun when you get to do something with a friend.  The teacher was really good and I enjoyed the class immensely.  I decided on doing a panel for a pinafore for Cherstin.  I got it smocked and even constructed the basic pinafore (minus the hem) and only needed to make the dress to go under the pinafore when we moved to South Carolina.  Needless to say, I didn't get the dress made and when the house went up in flames, the fabric to make the dress went up with the house...but the pinafore was pulled from the ashes, heavily stained from the soot and ashes.  Over the ensuing years I tried many different remedies to try and get the stains out, including some rust, to no avail.  After moving to Tennessee I found the pinafore and decided to take it with me the next time I visited Cherstin.  I doubted that she would even want it since the stains were so prominent and I had been on the lookout for several years for fabrics that might be used to replace the stained fabric but the color ways at that time offered no solutions.  When I took my next trip to Oklahoma Cherstin and I went shopping at their local Hobby Lobby.  At the cutting counter was a display of "Grandma's Stain Remover".  The tiny bottle promised miracles and was only $2.99.  I decided to take a chance and bought the bottle, went back to Cherstin and Dan's and promptly tried it out.  By the next morning the pinafore was absolutely spotless!  Rust, ashes, soot, and all! I was so delighted!  It has been a favorite product ever since.  However...it has taken a few years for the color ways to change but finally I have succeeded in finding a fabric to make the dress to correspond with the pinafore. This morning I thought I'd make that happen, especially since Heidi is nearly a year and a half old and I would like one of Cherstin's daughters to wear it.  However, when the nausea wouldn't subside I threw in the towel.  It wasn't that it was that bad...just yucky enough to not feel able to focus.  My anti-nausea meds make me drowsy so Rich offered me one of his.  His actually said it could cause drowsiness too...but it wasn't until a coupl hours later that I realized it hadn't.  That's kind of a good thing to know!

This evening was the General Women's Broadcast.  What a lovely event and it seemed the messages were given just for me.  I thought about my daughters (and daughter-in-laws - except I hate making the in-law designations because I feel like they are just as much my daughters - loved and adored just as my own) and granddaughters watching and hoping that they too were feeling the power of these special messages for themselves.  I thought of my sisters-in-law and wishing they knew how much I love and appreciate them...and realizing that if they don't...it's because I haven't told them!  And then I thought of my Mom...how I wish I could talk to her...how I miss her...how I love her!

"Teach Me..."

Today Rich and I headed up to Morristown for our acupuncture appointments.  We have been doing this for a few months, but Rich has been going for several years.  I have found these sessions interesting and have used them to relax.  Since my cancer diagnosis I have also found my session a wonderful time to meditate and pray.  Regularly I have been asking the Lord to teach me what he would have me to learn and today the sweet whisperings of the spirit prompted me to "write."

I have been intending to write more - my life story, memories, things about my parents and siblings, Rich, the kids, things I would tell my children and grandchildren, my worries, hopes, and dreams...but at the end of nearly every day I crawl into bed and, if I think about it at all, I tell myself I'll write tomorrow.  Sadly, tomorrow never comes.  But today I will write...and I hope to follow the promotings received today and write every day from now on...but knowing my history I feel reluctant to make such a declaration.

Monday I received the first round of doxorubicin.  Things went pretty well but I'm beginning to feel some breakthrough nausea once in a while and I think I'm also beginning to get the dreaded mouth sores that have been on my radar.  I'm trying valiantly to keep up with the soda/salt/water mixture but I think I severely underestimated the time frame that I needed to be vigilant in...I didn't realize that it would be in the latter part of the first week and the second week that would be so crucial.  I guess I'm learning.

Today I also got a sweet surprise in the mail.  The mother of a friend wrote a sweet and tender note to me.  She had learned of my diagnosis through her daughter and felt the prompting to reach out.  How many times have I felt those promptings and just let them pass???  And Joey and Wanda also reached out, as did Derk and Mike.  I'm so fortunate to have such angels surrounding me!  Each of my children, friends, loved ones, ward members, and my sweet husband continue to be such wonderful sources of strength.  I'm truly blessed!