Prophets and General Conference

Today is General Conference.  I LOVE it!  I read an article this week in USAToday about General Conference and the Church...it was quite interesting and amusing.  It was trying hard to explain the doctrines and principles of revelation, prophets, and faith of the church and its' members.  Basically I came away with the impression that "they" think we're mind numb robots who blindly accept whatever the prophet says - kind of like the Jim Jones cult - but they really did want to give the impression that they weren't biased - yeah - it didn't work!  LOL 

That said, I guess I can easily understand the confusion and frustration of "outsiders" trying to understand why so many of us "hang on every word" that the prophet and the rest of our general authorities tell us.  I just wish that they knew of the peace and joy that come into our lives when we "follow the prophet."  Sometimes the blessings are immediate, but other times it is only by looking back over a lifetime that you recognize the protection and blessings that you have received.

When I was a young girl (14-18) I was influenced by the times in which I lived.  It was the height of the hippie era and that would eventually morph into the feminist movement.  However, I had been raised to believe in the role of our prophets and to follow their counsels. 

When I was a young child I adored President McKay and listened intently to the things he told us - in fact, I can still quote many of the things he would tell us - "no success can compensate for failure in the home" and the like.  He often taught about the importance of women and their roles as wives and mothers in the home, about the significance of the great work of raising a family.  I remember him talking about the dangers of the birth control pill to the family, about women who chose to leave their homes and children for careers, and about creating heaven on earth.  As I moved into my teen years that counsel, as well as the examples of my parents, was firmly in place and I knew that the things that I had been taught were true.  I may have been influenced by the societal changes but my moorings were solidly intact.

When it came time to choose a college I chose Ricks and then BYU.  In both schools I attended classes, devotionals, church meetings, and associated with people of similar values.  Again, each reinforced the teachings of my youth and from our prophets.  I remember attending a stake conference at BYU where Ezra Taft Benson came and talked to us about one of the dangers that lurked for us as college students nearing graduation - the danger of being caught up in pride and in believing in the philosophies of men rather than relying on the revealed word of God.  He talked extensively about the false educational ideas that were permeating our culture and society and that we needed to learn for ourselves the revealed truths that the Lord would have us know, and then to have the courage to act upon that knowledge.

As I married the feminist movement was beginning to roil.  Demonstrations, magazine articles, newscasters, classes and curricula were all pushing to change the roll of women.  We were being barraged with messages that we were oppressed by "male chauvinist pigs" and that sexual intimacy with our spouses was tantamount to rape.  Marriage and children meant that we were living below our potential and that we were better than that - that we had brains and it was in our careers that we would make a difference.  If those messages weren't well received then they added the idea that we were smart enough to have it all - marriage, home, children, and career...that it was quality time, not quantity, that mattered. 

After sixteen months of marriage we moved to Australia and I was spared much of the diatribe - we only had one television station  that was on for a few hours a day, very little radio, and no newspaper - for the next two years.  When we returned to the States in August of 1976 it was like I have gone through a time warp.  Phil Donahue, Sally Jesse Raphael, and their ilk filled the tv stations with sleaze and filth that I hadn't known even existed...in fact, I doubt many men even knew much of this stuff...I actually believe much of it was made up and promoted, perhaps just for ratings, but I actually believe that it was in an attempt to change the goal of the ideal to acceptance of the base and carnal. Barbara Smith, General Relief Society President of the Church, actually went on the Phil Donahue program to try and counter some of the trash that was being hurled our way because of our beliefs - but sadly she was mostly mocked and scorned and ridiculed. 

To say that there weren't truths in some of the feminist agenda would be a lie.  There were.  Equal pay for an equal days' work (if all things are equal) is a noble and virtuous goal.  But as with all of Satan's lies, the whole truth is seldom told or understood.  To say that I wasn't influenced by some of this would also be a lie...I was.  In fact, if it hadn't been for my upbringing and for our prophet I probably would have been marching in the streets, screaming, ranting, raving, and burning my bra with the rest of them.

As the 70's were coming to a close there was an all out attack on traditional values as the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution was debated across our great land.  Each state had a chance to vote on it and ratify it.  In theory it was brilliant.  Who could disagree with equal rights?  Not me.  However, the Church and our prophet, Spencer W. Kimball came out in full opposition to it, declaring it a moral issue.  As Utah prepared to vote on it there was a huge, week-long convention in the Salt Palace in Salt Lake City where women from across the state came to listen to speakers, pro and con, to caucus together, have classes, and learn about the amendment and the issues that were attendant, and to vote our conscience.  A plea went out through the stakes and wards to have our membership well represented.  I was selected as one of the representatives from our ward.  Every morning I would drive down to Salt Lake and drop the kids off at my Mom's and then go uptown for the daylong meetings.  I remember listening intently to the speakers, trying to discern why the prophet had taken such a firm line and what could be that bad with "equal rights." Every night I would go back to pick up the kids, talk with Mom (who was the Stake R.S. President in her stake at that time) about what I had learned, go back home and talk with Rich - and know that I couldn't see the problems with the proposed amendment that President Kimball was warning about.  Then next morning I would start the whole process over again and spend time discussing these weighty issues with my friends and other women that I admired...all the while knowing I didn't know any more than I had the day before. 

As the week came to a close and I prepared to vote, I knew that I didn't know what to believe.   I felt like I imagined Joseph Smith felt when he said, "...there was in the place where we lived an unusual excitement on the subject of religion.  It commenced with the Methodists, but soon became general among all the sects in that region of country.  Indeed, the whole district of country seemed affected by it, and great multitudes united themselves to the different religious parties, which created no small stir and division amongst the people, some crying, "Lo, here!" and others, "Lo, there!"  Some were contending for the Methodist faith, some for the Presbyterian, and some for the Baptist....In the midst of the war of words and tumult of opinions, I often said to myself: What is to be done? Who of all these parties are right; or, are they all wrong together?"....knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know...."   

For some reason Rich came to the Salt Palace just as we were preparing to vote.  As we talked about how I would vote I must have expressed my self doubt because I remember him saying, "what does the prophet say?"  It was totally a rhetorical question but he then added, "well, what more is there to say?"  I left and voted against the amendment - knowing that I didn't have the wisdom, I could not see into the future, but I could follow the prophet and be assured that was what the Lord would have me do. 

The years have come and gone, the majority of the nation has no clue that there ever was an Equal Rights Amendment to our Constitution that narrowly failed to be ratified, and I have no clue what would have happened if it had...but as I have watched our society sink into the depths of filth, degradation, sleaze, cowardice, vulgarity, crudity, and immorality, I am thoroughly convinced that descent would have been much faster, much steeper, and much deeper than it has been.  As I have watched men be debased, dehumanized, and emasculated just because they are men - I am ashamed of my gender.  As I have watched families fall apart, marriages succumb to divorce, children become nothing but trophies or possessions, I have seen first hand the loneliness and hopelessness of what might have been if selfishness, thoughtlessness, and hedonism hadn't ruled the day.  As I have watched women who listened to the false gods that told them they could have everything, I have seen the despair when they realize that was a lie and they have sold their birthright for a mess of pottage.  Today the Phil Donahue program would seem tame in comparison to what is actually going on - and we are not the better for it.  President Kimball warned us, Sister Smith repeated that warning, and the Holy Ghost echoed those precious words of my husband to my very soul, "what more is there to say?"  I do not regret that vote - not in the least.  Some might say I was stupid to not be able to see what would happen - and they may well be right - but I have felt the blessings of following the prophet as I have watched the turmoil swirl around me and felt the peace that passeth all understanding.  If that vote were to be cast today I would have no trouble discerning the right course of action.  But the value of a prophet, seer, and revelator is knowing that our Father in Heaven knows all things from the beginning, He knows what is yet to occur, and that He will warn us through His prophets of the things that we need to do to escape the calamities that will come as a result of wickedness, and how we may learn His will for us, when we do not know those things for ourselves.   Our prophet, Thomas S. Monson, is the watchman on the tower for us today.   In the midst of the complete chaos that is our world today - I sure hope we all listen and follow him today, tomorrow, and for the next 6 months!

Home, Sweet Home!

I said good bye to my little ones in Denver on Monday evening.  I have such a mixture of feelings, just like I do everytime I leave one of my kids' homes.  It is a sad, happy, glad, difficult time for me.  I wish everyone were close by and that we could just see everyone all the time.  I guess that isn't realistic...but I still wish it were possible.  I thought I was appreciating that aspect of much of our time when we lived in Denver...but I find that just like my mother used to tell me to cherish my children while they were young because the time goes by really quickly, and I thought I was, my time with my children and grandchildren now also flies by and soon those opportunities are gone....

On brighter notes -

Ruby is doing really well, and so are the rest of the Rogers clan.  Emily is in love with her and can hardly keep her hands off of her.  Mordecai seems to be oblivious to her much of the time, unless he wants his mom's attention and her attention is on Ruby! LOL  Mike and Desi seem to be handling all the stresses like the pros they are and Rich and I are eager to return in April for the blessing.  While I was there Emily turned the big 5 and is eager to have her birthday party at the bowling alley.  And Mordecai will be celebrating his 3rd birthday on Sunday with a little gathering of friends on Saturday to celebrate.  He is having a "Batman" party with a "Thomas the Train" pinata!  Kind of a unique twist, right?  LOL  I also enjoyed seeing old friends there - Karen Hamblin, Kathy Hickman, JoanE Linford, etc.  There is a lot happening in everyone's lives...and I guess it should be that way.

Felicia and Dave have parted ways, at least for the time being.  Time will tell what happens from here...but the great news is that she was accepted into BYU's Master of Social Work Program and will start classes in the fall.  She is tickled pink!  There were over 150 applicants and only 40 were selected...not too shabby!  She is continuing to work at the State Mental Hospital in Provo - from 10 pm to 6 am - and seems to be enjoying the work, with the usual stresses of the job.

Joey got home from his TDY on Wednesday last week but he and Carlie and the kids spent the weekend sick with the flu.  Yuck!  Rich and I are headed there to visit them next weekend.  Joey is trying to get out to Iraq before the end of this month as it will be better for them financially since he has to go anyway.  I know that he, Carlie and the kids will appreciate everyones prayers and faith in their behalf.  Six months is a long time!  Thank goodness that we live in a day and age with modern technology - while not perfect - it is certainly better than waiting for a letter via pony express!

Cherstin and Dan seem to be doing well.  They are both in school but they manage to find time to do a whole lot of other things too!  Abby is learning to read, Emmett is enjoying swimming and diving, Ellie is trying to potty train herself, and the whole family seems to have acquired both a cat and a dog!  It seems that the dog is only a "maybe" - but by the sounds of it I would say it is a done deal!

Hannah and Philip are also doing well.  Philip is still going to school and carrying quite a load at that.  I know that he will be glad when it is all over - and so will Hannah!  LOL  Oliver had his 2 month well baby check up this past week and is the "runt of the litter" - weighing two full pounds less than William at the same age!  We just family pictures (hint! hint! to everyone else!  LOL) from them and they are adoreable!  William and Orion will be really glad to have spring arrive...I saw on the weather that it was snowing there today...being housebound is not cool!

Wanda and Robert and brood seem to be well too.  They seem to be spending most of their time in school, going to church, and doing laundry, making meals, and everything else that seems to need to be done in a big family.  However, they seem to find time to keep me apprised of the political happening there and I sure enjoy knowing first hand what is happening!  LOL  I read tonight that Govenor Walker had offered to compromise some with the unions but that talks fell apart because the unions wanted him and other GOP members to negotiate in Illinois but Walker said no.  Can you believe that????  He actually thinks that political discussions by Wisconsin elected officials should take place in Wisconsin - the nerve!  LOL

My dad is continuing to regress.  I have been in contact with Derk and Mike but both assure me that I don't need to get out there before April when we go to Felicia's graduation.  He has some days that are better than others - but the frequent infections are taking their toll and much of that ground is never recovered.  He has some therapists coming in to help but even that is marginal.  An Alzheimers' specialist came and assessed Dad and his status recently and said that he was fading fast.  I guess Dad asked him if anybody ever recovered from the Alzheimers and the guy told Dad that they didn't but that he would find that soon it wouldn't be as difficult as it is right now - meaning that it won't be that much longer that he'll have the capacity to fight it as he is right now. 

Well - it is nearly 1 am and I am tired.  I'm heading to bed.  However, I must note that I was thrilled to find that the daffodils are in bloom here - and the profusion is absolutely beautiful.  Everything is green and the trees are budding, and some are in full bloom of color - spring is finally arriving!  It couldn't have come any sooner! 

I'm writing this on my phone - hope I'm not too mistake laden!

On the 13th of this month we received a phone call from Desi which seemed to indicate that her water had broken or was at least leaking. It was late that night but Rich and I were fairly certain that my flight to Denver would need to be changed.

The next morning Desi and Mike went into their ob and they were then sent on over to the hospital. Rich made new flight arrangements for me for the next day out of Atlanta and then I proceeded to make preparations to leave. Later that evening we attended the funeral of a woman in our ward who had lost a courageous battle with cancer - but as we sat waiting for the funeral to begin we received the news that Ruby Marie had been born and weighed 6# 10oz. Mom and baby were doing fine.

The next day I flew out as planned - got in to Denver at nearly midnight and was relieved that Rich made it home safely too - at about the same time minus the time change. Desi was home with two little munchkins nestled in their beds but sitting up with a very fussy Ruby. However, after a little bit of chatting we made our way to bed and the baby seemed to do better that night than any of us would have expected. Gratefully, she has continued to sleep pretty well and seems pretty mild in temperament. Emily is in love with her but Mordecai seems to be oblivious to her, except when she is crying and he can't hear his tv program. Lol

That first week here was full of birthdays - Mary, Dan, and Emily! This week was my Dad's. How blessed we are to have so many wonderful people to celebrate!

Every time I have the opportunity to visit one of our children as they welcome a new little one into their homes I am in total awe of the plan of our Father in Heaven. The fact that He even trusts us to care for his precious sons and daughters is a real act of faith on His part, I'm sure! Lol it is always amazing to me to see how unique these tiny ones are - their personalities just need to be discovered by us! I watched little Ruby's face one evening as she struggled to stretch and then get rid of the dreaded hiccups...it was so clear that this sweet little one was experiencing in a very small measure the effects of mortality - trying to gain some kind of control over her tiny little body. Little does she realize yet that will be a life-long endeavor! In a few short months she will have moved from the realm of complete helplessness to a bundle of energy at full gait! How miraculous is that? In the meantime those tender little smiles that come unbidden from her communion with an unseen realm are just an exquisite opportunity for us to touch eternity. It doesn't get much better than that!

On a sad note - Carlie's Grandfather Fairbanks passed away on the 14th (I think. It couldn't have been much more difficult as Joey is still TDY and was unable to come home. This left Carlie with having to make arrangements for the children to be left in the care of friends and neighbors so that she could take Reah and go home for the funeral. On the bright side, Carlie had a little niece born the same day that her Grandpa passed. Again, a tender glimpse into eternity.

Well - we had a chance to meet Rich's new cardiologist and I, for one, am thrilled.  They have already run a 24 hr. EKG and will do an echocardiogram and blood panel next week.  Rich's blood pressure was good and his heart is in sinus rhythm at the moment, all very good and so he doesn't need to resume the digoxin or the diltiazam!  Yeah!!!  We had a chance to ask some very pointed questions and I feel confident that they are taking our concerns seriously.  I asked if there was any possibility of getting off some of the meds in the future - obviously it is something that he'll have to work hard to do and may not be able to - and they told us that some may be able to be reduced or eliminated - but right now they need to get a baseline of where he is at now. 

Part of my concern about the meds is because of having watched my Mom...it seemed like they gave her one med to fix this problem, then gave her another med to fix the problem that med created, and so on, until she finally passed away.  In my heart I know that isn't really fair but I really resent the dispensing of meds without investigating other alternatives first.  I think many physicians become "pill rollers" because they don't believe that their patient will make the necessary life-style changes...and perhaps that is true.  But it seems to me that Joseph Smith was correct when he cited the strength and success of the LDS people as a result of "teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves."  I think the same thing applies to medications and health.  If a patient has been truly taught all they need to know about their situation and then will not make the necessary changes - then roll the pills!  But too often I think we put our faith in pharmacology rather than the Lord - meaning that He is the creator of our bodies and knows them and how they work and how they will respond...hence, The Word of Wisdom and other counsels.  And, because I have battled weight for many years I understand how difficult it is to overcome self...but I also know how many times I wanted to believe that I had no control because that would mean that I am not responsible for my choices.  However, no matter what fairy tale I wanted to believe, the truth is still the truth, and I am still responsible for me and my choices.  I realize that I am speaking in general terms because there are health issues that are the afflictions and trials of the human condition and no one has control over, except the Lord.  But most of the health issues that I personally face are of my own making at this time.  I am grateful for modern medicine and the support I get...but I still think it is better to tell me or someone I love that they have diabetes or are pre-diabetic but there is something you can do about it...that you may not be able to be completely free but that there is a good chance you can be if you will just do what you need to do.  And the same thing can be said for so many of the modern health issues that are part of our lives...not all...but many. 

And then I really have a problem with the "science" of health too.  I am old enough to remember when everyone ate butter but then a "health scientist" postulated that the reason that people had heart problems was because of butter, red meat, etc. or saturated fats and it wasn't long before the government was extolling us on the virtues of margarine and urging us to use it instead of butter.  Twenty and thirty years go by and new research is showing that the trans fats in margarine are really unhealthy and what do you know - butter is really okay!  Or how about eggs?  Everyone ate eggs - but then came the big cholesterol scare and all of a sudden we have to eat egg whites only and throw out the perfectly good and HEALTHY yolk or use some concoction that is supposed to resemble eggs.  Now new research is showing that people who eat 6 and more eggs a week actually have lower cholesterol levels than people who only eat one or none - go figure!  And that the yolk has important nutrients such as lutein that are readily absorbable in our bodies which support good eyesight.  Or how about coconut oil - bad for you because it is a "saturated" fat - but not so fast - new research shows it is an important component in a healthy diet, increases satiety, lowers inflammation, and is one of the few fats available to provide medium chain fatty acids.  Then there is the government's food pyramid - and the whole movement to get us to lower fat - all the while we are becoming fatter and fatter as the days go by.  I know - I'm on my soapbox.  But even medical procedures are an area where I am suspicious - 30 years ago if someone developed breast cancer they would automatically do a double mastectomy...but now they are saying that under most circumstances a lumpectomy is just as successful.  Cholesterol medication and the numbers are another area that I just don't trust - it doesn't help that the 2004 study that was responsible for the government's current guidelines was conducted by 9 "scientists and doctors" - 8 of whom were receiving payments from the drug companies that all of these cholesterol lowering drugs make and there was no real, hard data to prove that lowering your cholesterol to these numbers was even effective - but you would certainly need the drugs to get those numbers!

I know that there are lots and lots of good people who are in the medical community and they are trying the best they can to treat their patients to the best of their ability with the knowledge that they have.  But I also believe that Lord knows best how we should care for our bodies and He also knew that "in consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring me in the last days" that we would need to have a way to optimize our health without falling prey to the snake oil salesmen of our day.  Ironically there is much interest now in nutrition and herbs - but for many years our doctors went through their entire medical training without ever taking a basic nutrition course.  And even now the majority of the AMA are resistant to a holistic approach to medicine.  And if anyone dares to question - well - they just have to be heretics!  There is so much we don't know - but too often we are expected to just follow blindly when much of what is being suggested just doesn't make sense and is counter to the Lord's directions.   I think I have just decided on a major!

Thanks Desi for re-designing my blog...Cherstin called while you and I were chatting and asked what was wrong with it...I had to chuckle and tell here that you had already done it.  She laughed and said it looked great.  I agree!

Last Monday morning I said my prayers and told Heavenly Father something like, "I love the gospel and am grateful for my membership in the Church.  Please help me be mindful and recognize when and where I might stand as witness of Thee and be and instrument in Thy hands."  The day went beautifully and I really didn't think much more about my prayer until later that evening when Brother White, a member of our Bishopric, called and asked if I would teach half of the 5th Sunday lesson.  I told Brother White I would be happy to help - but caught myself thinking Happy????  But then I realized what my prayer had been and I really am happy to do whatever I can...but I knew the rest of the week I would be stewing about it and reading and studying and praying and stewing and reading and studying and praying.  LOL  I guess the moral of this story is to be careful what you pray for!  LOL

So - all week long I did stew, read, study, and pray -my topic was on the Prophetic Priorities that the Stake Presidents have been taught by the General Authorities.  When Brother White was talking to me on the phone the thought occurred to me to address family councils.  All week long, as I stewed, read, studied, and prayed the thought wouldn't leave.  As I sat down last night to try and put together some kind of outline I felt the calm assurance that I had my mission from the Lord.  Today I would say that it was one of the easiest lessons I have ever given and I hope that the Lord is pleased and that there was something said or confirmed to someone in the class, besides myself, that will be of use.

I utilized Alma 48-50 - can I just say that I really love the war chapters of the Book of Mormon???  When I was younger I would gloss over them, thinking there was not much there.  Oh, I knew that the Lord wouldn't have had Mormon put them in if they weren't important - but I also knew that I would have to dig and I didn't have what it takes to do that, I guess.  Anyway, I remember going to a meeting with the General R.S. President once and she related to us that when she and her presidency were called, the prophet counseled them to study the war chapters and use what they received from their study as a basis for their administration.  I also remember President Benson counseling us to study the last few decades prior to Christ's coming as they were parallels for our time - and they are the war chapters of Alma and Helaman!  I know that there is so much more to learn and my studying and pondering this week have caused me to want to go back there and dig.  I am so grateful for the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith, Oliver Cowdery, Martin Harris, and Emma, for the Book of Mormon prophets and their families...what sacrifices they have made so that we can escape the destruction of the adversary if we will just heed and be faithful.

Battle For My Soul

Cherstin or Desi - whichever of you might read this first - would you please re-do my blog?????  Please????  I tried but undid what I did because it didn't do what I thought I remembered Desi showing me to do...and I didn't want to have to go through what Desi had to go through to undo the craziness that I had done on the last one trying to do it by myself...as if I could anyway...tech challenged!  Fun, pretty, cute, doesn't matter - just something different than Christmas, okay?  Please!!!  Consider it help for the aged!!!  LOL

I thought I would update about Rich's health, especially since I caused quite a stir by not doing that last week.  We saw our PCP this week, she did an EKG and his heart is back in sinus rhythm.  Yea!!!!  His beat is still a little irregular but that may never be different because of the branch bundle pathway in his heart - which is genetic.  His blood pressure was perfect, as was his pulse and so she cleared him to continue exercising and to stay off the meds they took him off - at least until he sees his new cardiologist on the 7th.  Obviously, he needs to be careful and ease into this, being aware of his body, but he is able to exercise and should.  He had also dropped a pound and she was pleased about that - he has just had a slow but continued drop in weight and that is probably what spurred all of the problems - his meds need to change, whether it is dosage or maybe not even needing some them.  It is so remarkable to me to remember where he was in November - not even 15 months ago - and to see him today.  I am very grateful for his life and for the improvement in his health.  On a side note - he saw his pulmonologist in December and his FEV1 was at 40% - the best that it has been in literally YEARS!!!!   

So - he and I have been going to the gym every evening after work.  He has been walking on the treadmill and I have been riding the recumbent bike.  Yesterday he put in 3 miles and I did 13.5 miles and then swam for 40 min.  Today I think I am going to change that though - we have been going to the gym after I pick him up from work - but that means that we're not eating until 9-10 at night.  I think we need to reverse the order so we will eat first and then go...and come home for a little protein snack afterward rather than a full meal.  This is my analysis as I have noted that neither he nor I have lost any weight so far this week and I think the late meals may be the reason - although I also think my body does better with morning exercise - but we'll have to see how that goes in a week or so.  I really enjoy going with Rich and we are having a blast.  We also enjoy the fact that we can walk or use the bike in the "movie" room at the gym and we sure have caught movies that we haven't seen.  Yesterday we watched "Old Dogs" - a Walt Disney movie with John Travolta and Robin Williams.  We hadn't seen it because neither Rich nor I are really fans of Robin Williams - but we laughed and did enjoy it while we pedaled along. 

On Wednesday Rich had an appointment with his trainer at lunch time and I had an appointment with mine at 1 pm. so we went together and I went to the movie room while Rich was working with his trainer.  They were showing the last Indiana Jones movie and I was just pedaling along, but there came a scary part and I jumped and let out my proverbial scream - I was relieved that there were only about 5 people in there but they all laughed!  I was glad that it was dark because I was pretty red faced!  LOL

Wednesday, as I was working with my trainer, I couldn't help but notice how many older and elderly clients were working with trainers.  There were people with canes and walkers and even crutches.  And we come in all shapes, sizes, and weights.  There are plenty, plenty, PLENTY of young, buff, energetic people working out too but it nice to see people our ages and older working to maintain or improve health.  I had to hearken back to April and realize how far I have come - then I could barely hobble from the front door of Wal Mart to the motorized carts.  Now I walk the store with relative ease and many days I am medication free...that's saying something.  I still have a very long way to go - but this isn't a race and it is something that I will have to do for the rest of my life.  I can feel the difference when I don't get the exercise in for a few days - my joints stiffen terribly and the pain returns with a vengeance.

I have been reading and studying a talk given by Melvin J. Ballard in 1921 and reprinted in the New Era in 1984 entitled, "Struggle for the Soul."  Wow!  Talk about prophetic!!!  It has given me much to ponder and I have been considering the counsel and warning as it applies to me.  I don't have much problem with pornography, prostitutes, gambling, drinking, drugs, or the like.  However, I have long struggled with weight and exercise.  Part of that struggle is genetics, getting the correct diet for my body, understanding true body functioning principles, etc.  But I have long felt that this was a battle for my soul.  In fact, when Dr. May told me that I needed to consider gastric bypass because what I was and had been doing wasn't working and I was a train wreck waiting to happen,  I told her that I felt that this was something that I needed to battle, something I needed to overcome.  I told her that I couldn't ever see me eating just 2-3 tablespoons of food for the rest of my life, and I have known many people who have had the procedure (or some type like it) but never known it to not have unintended consequences and side effects (some life threatening) and I had never known anyone to get to their goals and to keep the weight off.  The truth is that it is still a battle, no matter how radical the surgery to alter the body.  Mentally and spiritually you still have to subjugate the body - and if you don't you will still lose the battle. 

Elder Ballard explains doctrinally why it is so important to fight the battle and win.  He explains what is at stake and how the adversary uses our lusts, appetites, and passions to destroy us.  He talks about the soul being made up of our spirit and our body - and that we came to this earth to receive a body so that we could become like our Father in Heaven - on condition that we (our spirits) are able to subdue, subjugate, and control our bodies.  If we don't do that then our bodies have control and Satan will use our bodily appetites, passions, lusts, and weaknesses to bring our spirits under his control - to destroy our freedom to act for ourselves - to be in his power - to win the battle he is in against the Lord.  Obviously we know the outcome of that battle - but the battle for our own souls is in doubt if we yield to the temptations of the devil.  Truly, Satan doesn't care about us - he just cares about thwarting our Father in Heaven and winning the war he started so long ago - we are just collateral damage to him.  How grateful I am to the Lord for his prophets who teach and warn me, for the Atonement, for my body that can and will respond to my spirit no matter how inexperienced and weak my strength to do so is at this moment, that I know that as I increase my efforts and consistency that my spirit will gain more and more strength and control, and that my Heavenly Father wants me to win this battle and will do everything in His power to help me - if I will just call on Him for His aid and do my part.   How cool is that????   Thanks to my Father in Heaven, right now I am winning that battle one day, one moment, one mouthful, one step at a time. 

Training and Rich

Rich and I have been talking about consolidating our gym membership and usage for a while now and we finally did it.  We joined National Fitness Club and it is just a little over a mile from home - wouldn't be that if it weren't for our winding roads!  LOL 

Part of our membership package is a free assessment about where you are, fitness goals, and to help you get to know some of the machines, etc.  One of the other other reasons, I'm sure, is to try and get you to hook into their trainers. 

Well - I have been talking about getting a trainer for a while and Rich had one at the cardio-pulmonary rehab at the hospital and since we're a little anxious about our transition we decided to go with one of the training packages and see what it can do for us. 

When Rich had his assessment he had barely done any of the exercises when he became ashen color, very dizzy and light headed.  The trainers thought it was probably low blood sugar as he hadn't eaten for a few hours before coming.  He was so out of it and miserable.  They gave him some orange juice, let him lay down for a few minutes, and then I took him to eat and over a little while the episode subsided.  We figured it must have been the low blood sugar.  However, yesterday he went to his regular trainer appointment and had the same reaction.  This time I got him to the car (he actually wanted me to call 911 - that's how miserable he was) and drove him to the ER - less than a mile away.  I was a little concerned that the episode would have faded like the previous one did, by the time we got there and into the ER - but it hadn't.  His blood pressure was 80/50, pulse was 46, and his pulse ox was 82.  No wonder he was light headed!  The ekg revealed no "p waves" meaning that the heart wasn't beating in the right place.  They ran bunches of blood labs, more ekgs, ct scans and xrays.  I really liked the ER dr.  I learned more from him in the few minutes we had to see him than in all the time we have seen Dr. Sharma, Rich's cardiologist.  In the end, the ER doc gave us a choice of having him admitted or coming home, resting, and checking in with Sharma this morning.  We opted for the latter, even though we have no confidence in getting through and seeing Sharma today.  We both think it would be a good thing to try and find another cardiologist - one that isn't so difficult to get in to and one that seems to know Rich. 

Well - calls to Sharma's office did go through - the person who took Rich's call said they would pull his record from last night and get right back with him - that was 3 hours ago - still no word.