Siblings

Today, on my way to the gym, Brad and Mike called me.  They were wondering how Rich and I were doing and when my surgery was scheduled for...they wanted to make sure I wasn't "chicken-ing out" lol.  I was so sad that I was in my way for a training appointment and so I had to cut short our conversation.  I would have loved to just chat for a while.  It isn't often that we are able to connect like that and I found myself longing for the deeper connections of family.  One of the consequences of Mom and Dad being gone is that we don't call as often as...life just has a way if getting in the way and the time differences don't help either!  It is much easier to connect than just a few years ago but even with the blessings of technology it isn't as easy or as often as I found myself longing for.  I once read that the sibling relationship is the most enduring if all, just because we are connected over the longest period of time and I find that the older I get, the more I need to connect with my wonderful brothers and their sweet wives.  I find my interest and worry in their families and lives growing.  I'm not sure if this is a normal phenomenon or if it is just that I'm finally growing up. I guess it doesn't matter...just matters that I really, really love them and are so grateful that I have them in my life.

Because of their call I've been remembering conversations and events all evening.  I have to say that I feel particularly blessed that we had our parents and the gospel in our lives growing up.  I know of people who have pretty difficult relationships with their siblings and I feel real gratitude that I have nothing but love and admiration for each of my brothers.  It is not to say that either they or I are perfect.  We aren't.  But I love each if them with my whole heart and are grateful for their love and support.  Indeed, heaven wouldn't be heaven if they aren't there.  

I am very grateful that our children also have such warm, tender, and compassionate feelings for one another.  Just today I have learned that one of our children, when they and their spouse were at the temple yesterday, placed one of their sibling's name and their family on the prayer roll.  Another child, seeking to provide aid and support, is sending a package with things the other might need.  And another family is praying with their whole hearts for two other families....surely this is what heaven is all about....  I think I have just a tiny, tiny glimpse into what my Father in Heaven must feel like when we are trying to love and help others of His children...our brothers and sisters.  

Today is 13 days until my surgery day.  I have done sets of the pre-op exercises and met with my trainer for arms, shoulders, and backs, went to yoga, and dropped another 2 pounds.  I wish I could have new knees without going through the surgery...I know...it's a constant theme...and I really wish I didn't need to have them both done.  Both of my trainers, Debi and Kathleen, told me today that I can't chicken out and they will be here on the morning of my surgery to help Rich get me there if I tried to chicken out.  Lol.   I keep thinking that my knees aren't really that bad and that I can put this off but then I try to work or stand and I realize that they really are that bad.  I just hope the few things I've done to prepare are enough.  I wish that I hadn't regained so much of the weigh I'd lost but at least I've lost 40...too bad it isn't 40 from two years ago...but I can't go backwards...only forwards.