No Regrets

Today was a good day. Rich and I have fallen into a comfortable routine that is easy and satisfying. I am here to tell you all - every stage of life has its challenges - but this particular stage's challenges are offset nicely with a couple of loads of laundry a week, dishes every couple of days, vacuuming once a week (just because), bathrooms that stay pretty much done, and cooking a meal that lasts for two, three, and even four days! LOL However - I think that is because the Good Lord knows my knees can't take too much of it! LOL Time to go in and get those pesky injections.

My mom used to caution me about not being in such in a hurry to get to the next stage of life(i.e. can't wait to leave Primary and get into Mutual, can't wait to turn 14 so you can go to the dances, can't wait to turn 16 so you can date, can't wait to turn 18 to get out of Mutual and go to college, can't wait to get married, can't wait for a child, etc.) that I didn't enjoy where I was. I used to think, "I AM!" But what I know on this side of it all is that she was really right - life is way too short - and the things that I couldn't wait to be done with leave me a bit of melancholy because there is no way I would rush them knowing what I know now. The truth is, you can't cherish something and want it over at the same time. And, truth be told, all things being equal I probably would do the same things I did even though I would like to believe otherwise! LOL

Deanna Johnson would tell you that since her husband passed away (and Jigg's Mary too) she has tried to live so that there would be no regrets. I highly doubt that she has been able to do that 100% - but I do know that having experienced the death of a loved one she wanted to honor his memory and "make up" her failings in their relationship by how she treated Jiggs and his family and hers. Deanna shared that with me 19 years ago - I have thought of it often - but not often enough! LOL I wish I had been more diligent - but I guess it is never too late - isn't that the promise of the atonement?

The Civil War

Today Rich went out with me while I shopped for fabric. I know he is getting better because this is the first time that he has felt like coming with me to run errands. He has come with me to Sam's or WalMart - but not for any length of time - but today we have been gone the entire day.

This morning I finally found a pattern that I wanted to do for Kathy Hickman. I feel a little guilty about pursuing it rather than doing my sweet grandkids' quilts - but Kathy is doing Chemo NOW and so I was pleased to finally come up with something. The gal that was helping me was talking about the quilt guild that she belongs to and the fact that one of the gals is doing a Civil War Block of the Month quilt using Civil War period reproduction fabric. I really think it will be nice to do that for Rich, especially since it is the 150th anniversary coming up. Each block will represent a battle of the war and a history of the battle will accompany the instructions and the fabric.

I had heard one woman in the shop talk with excitement about the fact that "WE'RE celebrating our 150th year this next year!" Rich and I chuckled a bit about that little piece of trivia as we noted that it might be possible that someone in the North would be marking this historic event, but people out West will have no clue and will not even care - but here in the South - it is a BIG deal!

Rich has loved all things Civil War, War Between the States, or The War of Northern Aggression for as long as I have known him - and probably 20 years beyond that! LOL He has a Confederate Flag (with a few battle scars courtesy of Joseph :) and has loved going to battle sites (such as Gettysburg, Ft. Sumter, Atlanta, etc.) and re-enactments. He loved living in Sumter and taking the kids out to the "broom factory" that was housed in the old infirmary and the site of the last place that a Union soldier was killed in battle. Or driving to Charleston to visit Boon Hall Plantation. I think that was one of the charms of living on Stamey Livestock - there were mornings and evenings when you felt that if you sat very still you could see the armies amassing through the trees.

In fact, we had one of our worst and stupidest arguments over the "cause of the Civil War." Rich was in college at Weber and had a paper due in his history class. These were the days before computers and so every paper had to be typed, double spaced, with no errors or typos. On a computer that is quite easy to do - but on a typewriter that is no small feat. I was by far the faster and better typist in the family and since my role has always been "editor-in-chief" I was the one typing his paper. As I read it I got more and more frustrated with his premise - he believed (and still does!!!!) that it was over States Rights. I, on the other hand, believed (and still do!!!!) that this was a moral issue and that if the South had not had slaves and built their economy on their backs there would never have even needed to be a discussion about States Rights let alone a war! Needless to say we did not see eye to eye, each trying to convince the other of the correctness of their position. At one point I tore up his stupid paper (it had typos in it and that would have had to happen anyway - ssshhhh!) and told him that he could type his own paper as I was not going to be party to such heinous justification of sin! Well, eventually we agreed that we would never agree on this issue - and it has become great amusement for our memories - and I did type his paper, and he did get an A, and his professor did agree with him - and that just goes to show how stupid they are! LOL

When we moved to El Centro he was so impressed with Joey's knowledge that the Battles of Bull Run and Manassas Creek were one and the same. However, he was not impressed that his history teacher did not know that and marked his answer wrong on a test! But we was impressed that Joey took it up with the head of the history department (Brother Isaacson) and he took care of that!

He has shared time and again (probably much to Desi's consternation) the fact that Desi spent one summer caring for Greg and Wendy Byers' children as a nanny. Desi would often tell us that the kids were playing in a little creek in a field behind Greg's home in Virginia. What he found so amusing was that when we went to Virginia to pick Desi up Rich learned that the little creek was Manassas Creek. The significance was totally lost on Desi (and the rest of us as well) but he loved it and of course we took a tour of that battlefield.

Ironically we learned a few years ago that his great-great grandfather, John Bainbridge (an immigrant from England living in New York), enlisted in the Union Army. He was later wounded in the battle of Vicksburg and died in Washington, D.C. of his wounds, leaving behind his widow and two young sons, William and Emmett. John loved his new country and was willing to fight for her. Eventually he paid the ultimate price. The cost of freedom isn't free. Perhaps there is a reason for Rich's love of all things Civil War after all.