Philip Orion Bainbridge

Thirty-one years ago, when I was pregnant with Phil, I hadn't dreamed that he would be born on this day, the 15th and on Grandma's birthday. I wasn't due until the 28th. We had gone to church the day before (the 14th) and someone had asked Rich if he could do something on the 28th and he had responded with , "Yeah. Sure." But I had reminded him that that was our due date and the guy looked at Rich and said, "You sure?" Rich retorted, "Absolutely!" Then cocking his head in my direction, and with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, he added, "She's a woman, and you know how it is with a woman, she's never been on time for anything, let alone early!"

Well, we went home and did all the normal Sunday activities but as evening came I recognized the familiar pains of labor. When I told Rich I was in labor he quipped with, "This is just your way of getting back at me for making that crack in church!. You just had to go a make a liar out of me, didn't you?!" LOL

The next morning, 31 years ago today, at Hill Air Force Base, in Utah he arrived. He weighed in at 8 lb. 7 oz., 20 1/2 inches long, but his head was huge - 14 7/8 inches around! (some will still say that is one of his defining characteristics! LOL)

He came home from the hospital with thrush and a staph infection...and things just went downhill from there. In fact, he wasn't blessed until the 4th of March because he had been so ill.

We named him Philip (his Dad's middle name) Orion (the hunter constellation - because we knew he grow to manhood and assume the sacred responsibility of caring and providing for his family and loved ones). However, when we shared with family what we had decided my mother looked quite confused. "Where did you get the name Philip?" she asked. "It's Rich's middle name" we told her. "I thought his name was 'Partridge?'" We laughed really hard over that. For years I had feigned exasperation or other emotion and blurted, "Richard Partridge Bainbridge!!!!!" over some inane point. I have no idea where the name Partridge came from - his middle initial was "P" and I just inserted "Partridge." It was a little play between us but I had never dreamed that anyone ever seriously thought that his name was Partridge!

For the next few years we seemed to live at the doctors' offices and at the hospitals. He had serious ear problems with attendant hearing losses (and although they would eventually be solved - the accompanying speech delays and endless speech therapy would plague him for many years).

We have some fun memories of him as he worked on speech. He was just a little guy (only 2 when he started therapy - and he worked very hard. As articulation improved it allowed his cute little humor to emerge. One day he was teasing me and he called me a "Kazy Mudda." I loved it. I shared that with my mom and dad, who were also rooting for his progress, and they just hooted. It was very reminiscent of an old "Rowan and Martin, Laugh In" tv spot with a song that went something like, "Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda, Here I am - at Camp Granada!" To this day, often my Dad will ask "How's the Kazy Mudda?" or "You're a good, Kazy Mudda" or something on that line.

We also learned a lot about speech and revelled in his progress, especially as he finally overcame his "f" for "tr" substitution in the immediate position. He loved playing with cars and trucks - but saying "truck" with the "f" substitution wasn't so cool. LOL

Decoding Phil's speech was difficult at first. We knew he was trying desperately to talk to us - but we couldn't understand. However, that wasn't really the case with Wanda and to a lesser extent, Joey. Often they would be able to understand enough of what he was trying to say that they could interpret it for us or get it close enough. Phil called her "A-ma" and she responded.

Another memory that comes to mind (actually Rich reminded me of this one after reading what I had written) is as Mary (the speech therapist) worked with Phil she would try to help him master basic information, such as name, address, etc. For weeks she had worked with him on his name. "Philip" is harder than some because of the "l". When she would ask him his name we would respond, "Fo up." Gradually it got better and better and so she started working on helping him with his last name. So one day she asked him "What is you name?" He responded, "Fi-e ip." That was progress and Mary praised him for his efforts. Then, "What is your other name?" He responded with "Meathead." That sure wasn't what Mary thought he was going to respond with! He has had that nickname for as long as I can remember - and I don't even know the genesis of it. Another nickname is "Philly-Bob" - but I'll save that for another post:)

Our experiences with him probably made me more hyper-vigilant than I should be...but I really am a fierce advocate of being proactive in this arena. Watching him be frustrated and embarrassed because he couldn't get others to understand what he was trying to say or suffering the mocking and teasing of others who would be cruel is not something I handle well - and every child deserves to hear and be heard.

Phil turned 5 the first day that we got to Germany. He was pretty excited. We had just driven across the U.S. in the dead of winter, flown on a VERY crowded flight from the States, were experiencing the effects of jet lag, and it was his birthday - he, Joey, and Wanda could NOT sleep! More than once I admonished them about jumping on the beds! We did have cake and ice cream and open a few little gifts - but he was wired!

When we first got to Germany we lived in an apartment building in the bedroom community of Kaiserslautern called Siegelbach. It was close to K-Town but had the small village charm. And it even had a small "Tierpark" or zoo. As spring came to our little town Wanda was given the assignment at school of finding some tadpoles or polywogs and bring them in. She, Joey and Phil were thrilled with the opportunity of getting out of the house and exploring town. Rich walked with them down the streets and towards the tierpark where a little stream ran through town. When they came to an area that was safe enough for them Philip was utterly amazed. "Wow! Look at all those polywogs! I've never seen so many polywogs in all my life! They must be having church! Maybe even stake conference!" he exclaimed. It was just too precious! He had never seen a polywog before, in all his life, that we knew of - and you could definitely tell what his frame of reference was for a large gathering!

The day that we brought Cherstin home from the hospital the kids were wired then too. Joey and Philip were playing some stupid game - Joey would put a marble up his nose and then pull it out. Phil tried the same thing. But his nose was smalled than Joey's and it didn't come out! They presented the problem to us and we tried to get the marble out but by this time Phil was crying and the nasal juices were flowing and we couldn't get it out either, it just rolled and rolled in the nasal cavity. So, Rich took Phil up to Landstuhl Hospital to see what they could do. As they were driving up there Rich had a great opportunity to talk about personal responsibility when Philip told him that it was "Joey's fault I'm in this mess!" "Did Joey put the marble up your nose?" "No...but..." We have laughed about that conversation repeatedly over the years - even used it in a talk once for YW values!

Phil was baptized in January of 1987 in Kaiserslautern, Germany. I always found it somewhat ironic - that Joey and Phil would be baptised in the same building that their Dad and I met.

Phil has a kind heart and easy disposition. One of my favorite memories was him playing with Felicia. He and Felicia were making a video to send to Joey while he was on his mission. They were using Barbie dolls (why? I have no idea!!!) and they were using the piano bench on which to act out their little play. I have the video somewhere I think, perhaps I will find it and upload it some day! He always had a special spot in his heart for his little sisters and he was always willing to play with them - in fact - that was how Desi broke her arm the first time! LOL In fact - I don't know that he ever really got the point when they weren't wanting to play anymore!

He was always a good student - just would procrastinate sometimes:) - quick to grasp concepts and ideas - also quick to realize that he would rather do the work of GATE classes than be in boring normal ones. LOL He was kind of geeky, or nerdy (that didn't stop him from taking 5 girls to prom at the same time)...video and computer games were fun and there seemed to always be members of the "Geek Squad" over to play - although he also loved to play chess, football, basketball, and diplomacy with his friends. Wanda and he also had a special bond with games too - but mostly I remember them playing monopoly - hmmm.

Phil took German in high school but we never really thought that would be put to much use - until he received his mission call to Germany. What I even find more ironic is that he served for a time in the same areas that we had lived, shopped, and worked. I remember him even asking me one day, "This building (the Kaiserslautern chapel) looks awfully familiar. Was I ever here?"

After Phil was home from his mission for a few weeks he went to stay with Wanda and Robert. He sure enjoyed his time with them and they were very good to him. It was there that he finally started to attend the singles ward and met Hannah. And the rest is history, so to speak.

He has grown into a wonderful young man in whom we are so proud and glad. He is the adoring husband of Hannah and the wonderful father of cute little Orion and William. His is teaching Primary and even considering teaching in some way and at some time for some part of his career. He is still going to school but hoping that will be done shortly. And we know that as he keeps plodding along it will be.

Some things don't change too much - he still loves to play games and when we get together we often (usually) play a game or two (even though it is harder because of little ones). These are some of my most precious memories. In fact, I believe that playing games in this way has strengthened the family bonds between siblings, spouses, parents and children and grandparent and grandchild, and niece or nephew and aunt and uncle immeasurably...and as we move to include the next generation - we've got to get a bigger table!;) Happy Birthday Phil - and many, many , many more!

Agency

Studying in the scriptures today I came upon a quote and found insight that I feel is important...I don't know if I will be able to find the words to express that insight - but I will try.

In the Pearl of Great Price, Abraham 3:18-19, the Lord tells Abraham that intelligence is eternal, even if one intelligence is greater than another, it has no beginning and no end. The Lord also states that He is more intelligent than all. That caused me to ponder, especially after having read a statement by Neal A. Maxwell that what the Lord knows is "vastly more - not just barely more - than the combinations of what all mortals know." The scripture Abr. 3:19 at the end says, "I am the Lord thy God, I am more intelligent than they all." Prior to reading Elder Maxwell I had read that in a relative way - that obviously the Lord was the most intelligent of all of Heavenly Father's children. But with a closer reading to the words, "I am more intelligent than they all" and Elder Maxwell's insight I am awed even more by the knowledge and intelligence of the Lord and humbled by my lack of it...He is more intelligent, more wise, more knowledgeable, more anything than all of us combined - all of the smartest and brightest that ever lived and ever will together. How often do we put our hopes and dreams and confidence in a group of "the smartest or brightest" rather than in what the Lord says? How often to we put our faith and confidence in ourselves rather than the Lord? Talk about arogant!

And - how the Lord became more intelligent than us all, and how his noble and great ones became such is interesting too. President Joseph Fielding Smith said, "We know they were all innocent in the beginning; but the right of free agency which was given to them enabled some to outstrip others and through the eons of immortal existence to become more intelligent, more faithful, for they were free ot act for themselves, to recive the truth or rebel against it." Agency. Agency is key. With agency they chose to learn, work, and exercise their faith. By utilizing their agency with diligence and faith they were able to grow increasingly like their Father in Heaven and as we continue to do so we become like Him.

As I consider this process I see the insideousness of what is happening in our society now. The move towards socialism and communism is an effort to take away the agency of man, cloaked in language of compassion and mercy. Take the health care fraud that is being perpetrated - we are being told that this is compassionate and merciful and that if we oppose this legislation then we are hatemongers and hateful. In reality - the effort to make us all alike, regardless of our differences, makes us all "common" and gives no opportunity for our freedom, to choose for ourselves - and eventually - as money runs out and outcomes become more planned then more and more of our freedoms are slipping away because others are choosing what and how and when and why things are done - rather than us. Increasingly we are choosing to allow someone (the government) to make choices and plans for our care, and our choices and decisions are becoming less ours and more limited, until there is no choice at all. And this is just the tip of the iceberg...in every corner of our society there is a push to make us into a "nanny state" with a cry that the choices, legislation, policies, etc. are for our good, that we don't know better or that someone needs us to do this or that because they are weak, infirmed, or unable to do better. And when we accept these premises we are giving up our rights - is this not just like Satan in the war in heaven? He would take care of us, he would help us, not everyone was strong and so this would be the most compassionate way, yada, yada, yada. If that plan had prevailed our agency would have been gone and our opportunity to grow and become like our Father in Heaven with it. When someone is telling us what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, we no longer have agency. We no longer have the freedom to waste our time playing video games or some other mindless activity or to choose to study the scriptures or serve our fellow man. We no long have the freedom to develop the talents we choose or learn the things that we want to learn because someone else is choosing what we should do. Slowly we are enslaved and have given up our rights to become the best we can be, like our Father in Heaven. The Savior and those noble and great ones used their agency to become such - choosing liberty and eternal life. We are being asked to give up our agency for a mess of pottage and I fear that too often I have done just that, oft times unknowingly, but gratefully I have had the prophet and the Holy Ghost to lead me back and away from danger.


Today is Phil and Hannah's anniversary. Number six. It is so amazing to me how quickly time flies. Especially now. I remember that while we were living in Kentucky we came to Wanda's place for Christmas. This was the year before Phil and Hannah were married. Phil was living with Wanda and Robert and he was pretty excited about going "caving" with a friend and his sister. I had a inkling that this was important - but how important I wouldn't learn for another 8 months. By this time we had moved from Kentucky to Colorado and Phil wanted to know if he could invite a friend home for dinner. He had played things pretty close to the vest with Rich and I - but Desi and Cherstin were pretty sure where things were going - they were with them in the singles' ward, at institute, at family home evening, Denny's, IHOP, and Village Inn, etc. and they were pretty sure that Phil was head over heels and they thought that Hannah felt the same. They were right. How blessed we are to have Hannah in our family! She has blessed Phil's life and ours and blessed us with two adorable little guys, Orion and William. Happy #6 you guys!