Grandma Roskelley

When I was visiting Dad earlier this month I tried to go through some of the "stuff" that drives him crazy and that I worry about because often in between unimportant things VERY important things are nestled. You have to go through each piece of paper because you never know what you will find.

Well, I did find something that I found absolutely stunning...it was the adoption decree from a judge in the state of Montana granting the adoption of my grandmother, Wanda Bingham Roskelley to James Howell Hendricks! I had known that my grandmother loved this man, that she felt like he really loved her and cared about her as his daughter. I had known that he had married my great grandmother in Montana and that Grandma had stood with them during the ceremony, holding his hand, and she felt like she had married him too. I had known that he had been the one to pay for Grandma to go to Valparaiso, Indiana to boarding school and that she had absolutely loved that experience. I had known that he had talked to my great-great grandmother about adopting her and that she had felt that it was inappropriate because there was no tie to her once her mother had divorced him. I had known that adoption was something that she would have wanted, but I didn't know that it had actually occurred. I brought the decree home and placed it in my file with the intention of scanning it and other important papers and photos so that each of our families might have copies.

Well, on Friday of last week I decided that it was time to clean out the garage. We have been here for a year and while it has been an event filled year - I want to finally be settled. I still have things to do and boxes to unpack and pictures to hang, etc. but I really am feeling the desire to make this house a home. It is time to get all the boxes gone!

As I opened box after box, putting some things away, putting other things in a give away box, stacking things I don't know what to do with at the moment, finding things that I once knew we had but had forgotten, and gathering a huge pile of things that need to be organized at a later time I came across a navy blue paper Book of Remembrance with my Grandmother's writing on it. It has her handwriting on the front but to my knowledge I have NEVER seen this before. When I opened it I was amazed to find she had started tracing the genealogical lines of James Howell Hendricks and even had a family group sheet with her as the adopted child of James Howell Hendricks and Julia Abigail Smith Bingham. Again, I was STUNNED!

Chills come so easily as I consider the feelings that accompany these two events - I cannot dismiss them. They are miracles to me - not any less earth shattering as the parting of the Red Sea. The implications of these finds and their full ramification are not known to me at this time. I am still trying to grapple with what I know and what it means - and trying to determine what should be done with this information. I did a quick Family Search scan to determine if any ordinance work had been done - and after just a cursory look I cannot find any.

Perhaps the thing that is so troubling to me is having some idea of how my Grandmother felt, especially in her last years. During much of my life she didn't talk too much about her feelings about her life and especially as a child. But, as her life drew to a close she became a bit more open and expressed a little of her feelings of abandonment and lack of love from her biological father, Parley Pratt Bingham, Jr. and her mother. She had written several autobiographies or life histories and when you read them you can understand why she did feel that way. However, in all the genealogy that she ever did, and I have the original Book of Remembrance that she made for me when I was a baby, she never had anything about James Howell Hendricks. She used the biological lines exclusively. I guess that is why I didn't believe that the adoption had actually happened. I do remember my mother often wondering where my Grandmother's original Book of Remembrance was because she believed that there would be things in there that weren't part of the records that she had given us...but she (Mom) also believed that Grandma had taken her book apart to make copies for each of her children so that they could have a record too, and she felt that it had never been reassembled.

So, what is to be done at this point? In light of the knowledge that the adoption did occur and how much Grandma loved him, do we drop the Bingham line? This doesn't feel right - while I know that Grandma felt abandoned and unloved by her father it doesn't mean that was the case. His life was further complicated by the fact that he had remarried and had children by that marriage - in fact - those children became beloved brother and sisters to my Grandma. I also know that my great-great grandfather Bingham always tried to maintain family ties with Grandma, just as I would do if something like this had happened in the life of one of my grandchildren.

Do we just add the James Howell Hendricks line as a collateral line? Somehow that doesn't feel right either. Great-grandpa Hendricks went out of his way to formally adopt Grandma when her mother passed away and she had no parents to speak of. Grandma's mother had divorced great-grandpa Hendricks when Grandma was eleven. Her mother died when Grandma was 15 and great-grandpa Hendricks cared enough about Grandma to pursue the adoption of her at that time, with it being completed when she is 16. I don't know what her relationship was with her biological father at this time - and the court was satisfied that he had abandoned her when the adoption was made - but perhaps that was just legalese and great-grandpa Bingham knew that by giving up his parental rights Grandma could have a home where she felt loved and wanted - and while he may well have loved and wanted her - he may have known that she would never "feel" that way about him or the home he could provide for her. I also know that Grandma's association and love for great-grandpa Hendricks spanned a lifetime. It wasn't until I found the Book of Remembrance that I was able to piece together the ties that bind. During the depression Grandma and Grandpa went to Washington to live - they lived in the same area as great-grandpa Hendricks - and in fact - he passed away shortly after my mother was born. Obviously Grandma felt the safety and love of a parent. The records that I have don't specifically state it - but I wonder if Grandma had gone there after her divorce from Grandpa after Jack was born. And then, Granpa went there to effect a reconcilliation - which actually did happen and they were remarried and had Gale and Mom and eventually Vance before divorcing a final time.

What would the Lord have us do, considering the two miracles that just occurred? If, indeed they are miracles as I feel they are, wouldn't that indicate that the work needs to be done? I doubt there would be any difficulty in doing the work in light of the adoption. I am so glad that the Lord gets to straighten this all out in the eternities! For now, I guess I will just put one foot in front of the other and pray that the Spirit will direct me to know what to do. And right at this moment I am so humbled and awed that a man who had no responsibility at all would rescue my Grandmother, love her, and care for her. That he would recognize that he had the power to help her and give her the stability she so needed and then act on it - even in the face of opposition from well intentioned family and others who might deem it unseemly - is a true testament of the kind of man he was. It would seem that Grandma was a great judge of character because she loved him too.