Priesthood in Action

Yesterday I took Dad to Church.  We went to St. Joseph's Villa where Mom was a patient and where they both served their mission.  Dad loves it there so much and I can certainly understand why.

The first time I ever went to a meeting there I was truly humbled by the simple faith of the members and the kindness of the people providing services for those who cannot do for themselves.  This entails helping the patients get from their rooms down to the chapel, passing out hymnals, passing the Sacrament, giving talks, prayers, greeting, taking the patients to Relief Society or Priesthood Meeting, and then back to their rooms, etc. The particular Sunday that I visited, a ward in the Stake was providing support for the branch.  The majority of the support came from young men and women.  It was an extraordinarily touching scene to watch as young, Aaronic Priesthood holders passed the Sacrament to the members of the branch.  There was a woman in attendance who was obviously in some state of dementia or forgetfulness.  She clung tenderly to a life-sized baby doll and would intermittently sing to it.  As the Sacrament came to her the young man helped her balance the baby doll so that she could partake of the sacrament, and even patiently helped her as she tried to get the baby doll to take the Sacrament.  Another woman was blind and another young man gently helped her by pressing the bread and water gently to her lips.  Another woman seemed almost catatonic - but as the young Aaronic Priesthood holder helped her get the emblems to her mouth it became clear that she was having difficulty even chewing so he touched her mouth and jaw ever so carefully to help her chew.   I was reminded of the Savior's love and service as I watched these young men stand in the shoes of the Master to provide the life-saving tokens of the Atonement to the "least of these".

Yesterday the ward that was helping seemed to be comprised more of middle age people...in fact I don't think I saw a youth at all.  However, the scenes played out there were just as touching as they have always been.  There was an older gentleman, perhaps in his 60's, that was wheel chair bound.  Another Brother wheeled him to the area that the Aaronic Priesthood sits so that the older gentleman could pass the Sacrament.  At first I didn't think anything of it...but after the prayer was said the scene that unfolded was truly special.  The Brother that was assisting the gentleman in the wheelchair quietly took a foam rubber "dowel" that had a slit in it the length of the dowel and placed it over the handle of the Sacrament tray.  Then he took out a velcro strap and when he had helped the man put the tray in his hand, he wrapped the strap around his hand so that he could secure his grasp around the handle of the tray.  He then pushed the gentleman to each member on his assigned route and then back to the Sacrament table where the whole scene was once again played out in preparation for the passing of the water.  It was truly humbling to see the service of both the Brother in the wheel chair AND the Brother who was assisting him.  Truly the Spirit confirmed the holiness of this sacred ordinance and I have reflected over and over on the kindness, dignity, and charity that was in evidence.

The speaker spoke on the gifts of the season and the gifts of the Spirit...and the gifts that we can give to our Savior and our Father in Heaven.  He suggested that "our life is God's gift to us....  How we live our lives is our gift to God."

Felicia and Dave came up from Provo and they, along with Brian and Lori and Dad and I had chicken fajitas for dinner.  The Dave, Felicia, and I drove up to Temple Square to see the lights.  It was beautiful...and if I knew how I would post a picture from my phone...but we know how well I know how to do that!  LOL

Dad did fairly well with only a few moments of confusion.  One of the most memorable was when he was trying to fill out a tithing slip as he prepared to go to tithing settlement.  He struggled to know the date.  I told him it was the 12th.  But, he just sat there and then said that he didn't know how to write that...I told him but he still had difficulty and so I got up and went to the table and wrote Dec. 12, 2010 and 12-12-2010 and told him that he could use either one.  However, he was having difficulty even knowing where to write it so I pointed to him where the date should go.  As he finished copying it down he said, "isn't it a shame we need to have all those numbers...but I guess that's just what you get when the Federal Gov't gets in the middle of it!"  LOL

As I watched him really struggle and work to make his appointment for tithing settlement, go to the church twice, and face his uncertainty in trying to fill out the slip I marvelled at the goodness of this man who is my father.  He pushed to be able to complete this year and to declare his love for the Lord, despite infirmity or confusion.  What a tremendous example he has been to me.  I don't know why I have been lucky enough, or blessed enough, to have him and Mom be my parents - but I am certainly grateful they are.  I really am like Nephi of old!

Lewy Body Dementia

Yesterday, when I went to the Utah Alzheimer's Association, the woman I spoke to suggested that I do some research into Lewy Body Dementia because it might be a better fit for Dad's diagnosis than Alzheimer's.  Late last night I had a chance to do some of the research and it seems to me that this is a perfect description of what may be happening to Dad.  It explains the great fluctuations and variations in Dad's alertness and confusion, his dreams - that have gone on for so many year, the shuffling of his feet and the falls, his hallucinations, and even his sensitivity to meds used to treat his dementia.  I hope that we are able to get him into the University of Utah's diagnostic center asap.  The outcome for the disease is not all that dissimilar from Alzheimer's but I am hoping that there are things to do that, given and accurate diagnosis, my actually improve his quality of life.

Felicia came up from Provo with Dave and we went to dinner.  It was sure nice to meet him and he seems like a very nice young man.

Alzheimer's

This morning I went out with Mike to his neighborhood rec center again.  I put in 5 miles on the recumbent bike and then went swimming for about 30+ minutes and then headed back to his home for breakfast.  I think tomorrow I might try just doing laps and see how that goes.  The gym I go to has no dedicated lanes for lap swimming and so I haven't tried it - I will at least give it a try.  They say you should mix up your work outs and this will definitely do that!  LOL

When I came back here I went to check on Derk.  He was barely holding his own.  He had a colonoscopy this afternoon - they biopsied his color (approx.  2 feet were highly inflamed)  - and he has more tests scheduled for Monday and next Friday.  Hopefully they will have some of the results back soon and we'll know a little more.

This afternoon I went over to the Utah Alzheimer's Association to see what resources they could tell me about.  The lady (Calleen) was extraordinarily helpful.  I am so grateful that there are associations like this one and people like Calleen who can help point us in directions for help that we don't even know exist and give aid and comfort as we face the challenges that will inevitably come our way - and so that we can help Dad get through what has to be some of the most terrifying moments he will have ever faced.

Tonight Brian fixed chicken enchiladas for supper and Dad got up to get glasses for some drink - but he looked absolutely helpless as he tried to find the glasses.  He finally explained to me, as he opened the frige, stove, and drawers, that he didn't know where they were - especially since all the cupboards had been changed.  LOL

I spent the better part of the afternoon/evening calling and talking to Brad, Mike, Chad, and Jim about the information I had learned from the Alzheimer's Association and trying to get possible dates that we can all meet with the clinical social worker at the Association to learn about the disease, its' progression, and resources and other particulars that we need to know about so that we can make informed decisions on Dad's behalf.  We are all united in trying to help Dad in whatever way we need...but there is strong disagreement about the diagnosis and even about the progression of the disease.  Hopefully we will all benefit by this meeting and we'll all be on the same page from here on out.

I received good news from Desi this morning - it seems Emily's eyes are working the best that they ever have!  What a blessing and what a gift!  She has been through so much.  I hope that things just continue to improve.

As I checked in with Brad this afternoon I had a chance to catch up with Tristen - she sure looked good even though I am sure she is ready to have her little one.  Hopefully she will have the baby this week and all will go well...and for Brittany too!   How fun it will be for two little cousins (actually - I guess they will be second cousins) to be born so close to one another and to be able to know one another - what a blessing!

I'm missing Rich tonight - not like I don't miss him every night - just that tonight I really would like to have him here....  The 22nd can't come soon enough!

Salt Lake

I arrived in Salt Lake last night after having traveled here from Wisconsin by way of Denver.  I stayed at Desi and Mike's for a few days and really enjoyed having time to relax and enjoy their little family.  We went to the rec center and played in the pool, went to Costco and Wal Mart, played with play dough, went to the Mall and looked for makeup and the kids made a bear for Ruby, ate at Red Robin, enjoyed church - especially Mike's lesson, and I even had the opportunity of being with Emily and Mordecai so that Desi and Mike could have a night out together.  It is always so much fun to visit but sadly I had to get on my way....

My trip to Salt Lake went without incident and rather quickly.  I only had yucky weather and roads between Cheyenne and Laramie - but that pass always seems to give me trouble.  I love serius radio - was able to listen to talk radio the entire trip!  The weather was cold - but my heater worked and I also had good cell reception most of the way so that I could talk to Rich and others too. 

Just as I neared Park City I received a call from Mike (my brother) wanting to know if I was on my way...LOL  He told me that he would tell Dad I was about a half hour out and as I drove in Dad was standing outside in the cold, waiting for me.  It was pretty tender.

I wanted to get to Costco for a few things and so I invited Dad to join me and surprisingly he decided to join me.  It was in this venue that I could see the continued onslaught of the Alzheimer's.  In my research of the disease I have learned that visio-spatial capacities are the first signs of the disease and it was in full evidence as Dad tried with all diligence to navigate the cart down the aisles - but he really had difficulty keeping it in the aisle and not hitting the shelves.  He also had great difficulty in opening the freezer doors - most often he was standing in front of them and then tried to open them - he seemed confused about how to move his body so that it would allow him to fully open the door to get to the food.  His gait is perhaps only about 6" - more of a shuffle than a walk - this makes the time it takes to walk an aisle very long and going from one end of the store to another very arduous on him and others around him.  I am not sure what has caused the unusual gait pattern - almost walking on his heels - but I think it may have some bearing in his balance issues.

When we got home he was able to stay engaged in our conversations and seemed to really enjoy the sociality.  However, as the night wore on you could tell that the trip had taken its toll and he was tired.  He fell asleep in his chair and at one point he woke up, stood in the middle of the family room holding a conversation with someone...after a time he turned and saw me and looked kind of sheepish and said, "I must have been talking to that chair."  I don't know if it was confusion, hallucination, or visual difficulties that were at the heart of the matter.

Today I woke early and headed to Mike and Shauna's so that I could go with them to their rec center to work out.  I really enjoyed my time there and it felt so good to be back in the gym.  Afterward I had breakfast with them and then headed home.  I stopped at Derk's to see how he was doing as Dad had told me he had been very ill - but he was on his way for a scope of his stomach.  So I came home but Dad was in his room with the door closed and I thought he might be napping so I went to check in on Lexie.  I had the opportunity to get caught up on their family and to talk politics for a while before I headed back to Dad's. 

I had some lunch and then Dad asked if I would take him to the Credit Union and to the store - so off we went.  We ended up at Wal Mart and Dad decided that he wanted to go in to look for his Orange Crush.  He did pretty well although all the people, aisles, and products seemed a little overwhelming for him.

We came home and watched a little tv and relaxed.  There was one incident that caused me a little concern as Dad wanted to get something that was on the piano in the living room.  We were sitting in the family room.  He stood up, shuffled a few feet and then seemed genuinely confused.  I asked him if he needed anything and he told me that he wanted to go to the piano but he continued to just stand there.  I asked him if he wanted me to get it and he said that he could do it but that he just didn't know where he was.  I tried to clarify so I asked him if he wanted to go to the piano.  He said yes but that he just didn't know where he was so that he could get there.  I pointed to the living room and that seemed to give him some direction and he shuffled on.

In the early eveningI tried to get a hold of Derk - to no avail - so I drove over but no one was home.  I then drove back to Brad and Lexie's and got phone numbers and talked to Julia - the scope revealed a very inflamed stomach and they will do a colonoscopy tomorrow.  I came back to Dad's and Laurie and Brian had supper ready and we enjoyed spending some time just chatting.  I am tired tonight and I know that Rich is too as we both had a late night last night (he was tutoring me on how to send docs back to Felicia - he said it was very painful! LOL).  Hopefully everyone we love has had a great day and will sleep well tonight.

Musings

Today I made some peanut brittle for Philip, meant to get it done when everyone was at the reunion, went to Miller and Sons to buy soda for Rich and got 2 liters each for the kids, and then headed off for Colorado.

It is bittersweet to leave Wanda and Robert and Philip and Hannah and their little families. I wish I lived closer so that I could have more frequent contact. I wish I could have that same privilege with Cherstin and Dan, Joey and Carlie, Desi and Mike, and Felicia. Somehow I didn't really anticipate the day when they would be gone. I had children because I love them...and I am thrilled about the choices they are making in their lives and how they are raising their children...just not thrilled to live so far away! However, on the bright side, if I didn't live so far away I wouldn't have the privilege of visiting them in their homes (night and day) and that gives me a wonderful opportunity to share memories in a different way. I was sharing with Bekah and Rachel that I had learned to play Dr. Mario as a result of visiting with Wanda and Robert every time a new baby came to them...it has taken me 12 years to learn to play the game! LOL

The trip west is a long one. I have stopped for the night in Lincoln, Nebraska. I was traveling just fine until it got dark...I feel concerned and frustrated by my night vision. The lights are blurry and have halos around them - doesn't matter if it is the tail lights on a vehicle or store signs. I am having difficulty determining distance as a result and unable to read the signs as well. I am assuming it is the effects of the cataracts - diffusing the light. I don't know for sure...but I think I am going to have to get back to my eye dr. when I get back to Tennessee.

I talked to Brad for a few minutes. I am having difficulty talking with Dad - he doesn't answer his cell and can't seem to hear me on his home phone. So I called Brad. He is concerned for Nathan, Jessican and Baily still and my heart goes out to them. Worries never really end and sometimes it is difficult to have faith...especially in the midst of difficulties.

Desi had her ob appointment and ultrasound today. The baby's kidneys are still enlarged but there is no worsening. I think Desi felt better about this visit. She is scheduled for another ultrasound in three weeks.

Driving gives me lots of time to think, duh! As the miles rolled on I reflected on some of the things I have learned about love and relationships during the course of my life. I remember feeling, as a young child, an overwhelming love for everyone. It seemed that love was "heavenly" in nature...a result of my life with my Father in Heaven and the fact that I had just recently left that abode. Over the years those feelings and the understanding of the eternal nature of our lives have stayed fairly constant...but too often the "natural woman" has overtaken me.

I think I have begun to learn that the Lord really does have the answers...something I have always known...but not something that I have always sought with the diligence I should. I picked up a book entitled The Love Dare a few years ago. It is the story of a couple with marital difficulties, on the verge of divorce. The premise is that loving and doing, as the Lord would have us do, can change and heal relationships. It is scripturally based and has steps to take that require an individual to act in faith. I read it after having been separated from Rich while he was working in South Carolina and Tennessee...it seemed that our time apart had taken a toll...each of us had gotten used to doing our "own thing," so to speak. I wasn't really worried that we were on the brink of divorce...but I knew that we weren't always on the same page and that conflict would be the result if we weren't careful.

Over the last year, as I have struggled to overcome my extreme obesity (my relationship with myself), I have more and more come to realize that the Lord has the answers to this challenge as well. Turning to the Lord, seeking His face, honoring my covenants, and employing the atonement really is the answer to every difficulty. These aren't just platitudes - but realities.

Too often the world would have us believe that the problems we face are the result of others and their actions. There is truth there - but I am finding that more and more the problems are a result of my own relationship with my Savior and my Father in Heaven. When I focus my attention on Him and His Son my relationship with myself and with His children (whether Rich, my Dad, my children, grandchildren, or even a stranger) inevitably improves. The world would have us believe that our situation and our relationships would change if external change occured - if the other person just changed this or that or if there were more money or yada, yada, yada. This philosphy is "the philosophy of man mingled with scripture." It ignores the reality that we have the power to change our circumstances and relationships, through the atonement, and that change affects everything and everyone within our sphere of influence and it is a source of great joy and happiness to us, those within our sphere, and our Father in Heaven. It takes faith to believe that the answers really are as simple as the Lord teaches us...it is easier to believe that someone else needs to change than to exercise our faith in Him because that requires us to act and accept responsibility for our actions - to focus on our becoming who we should be rather than judging another. Sometimes I wonder how the Lord hasn't just thrown up His hands in frustration as I have been so slow to learn...I am so grateful for His redeeming love.

Primary Programs

Today at church we had the Primary Program. It was truly a remarkable program and I was so struck by the power and the influence of the Spirit as it bore testimony to me of the truthfulness of the doctrines the children talked about and sang. I thought of our precious grandchildren in Wisconsin, Ohio, Colorado, and Oklahoma who would be participating in a program in their wards and of the their parents who had participated in our ward programs through the years. I even thought back to the beginning of time when I was a child participating in them. I thought of Abby reciting her part to me yesterday for her program today and how it warmed my heart to know and feel of the pureness of her faith in our Savior and Heavenly Father.

I am grateful to dedicated teachers and parents through the years that taught me, my children, and now my grandchildren. Their powerful influence is often under appreciated, even by them. My parents were valiant teachers of the gospel to us, their children. It seemed to me that we had Family Home Evening nightly when I was young. Every night we gathered together in the living room for prayers and then trudged to the kitchen for our vitamins and then Dad would give us piggy back rides to bed. Dad taught us how to conduct meetings, the priesthood offices of the church and church government, and often bore powerful testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel and the restoration of the Church. Mom, in contrast, seemed to find some gospel principle in everything we did, saw, or experienced and never let the opportunity go by to teach us what could be learned.

I remember attending Primary as a Sunbeam and I even remember that in my class we were learning how to set the table with construction paper place mats that had outlines drawn on them for the plate, glass and silverware. I don't remember what was said, perhaps we were being taught about the blessing on the food, I don't know....but what I remember most vividly was having the Spirit testify that what my teacher was teaching was true, that this was the Lord's church, that He loved me, and these truths were the same thing that I had been and was being taught by my parents.

A few years later we were visiting my Grandmother in California and there was a new hymn for the Primary that had been introduced for the coming years' Sacrament Meeting Program, "I Am A Child Of God." However, Elder Kimball had listened to the song and suggested that there was a change that ought to be made. The chorus of the song had been:
Lead me, Guide me,
Walk beside me.
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must know
To live with Him someday.
He suggested that the "know" wasn't good enough - that it didn't go far enough. He urged her to consider changing the word to "do" because we would need to know and to do to be able to return to our Heavenly Father someday. I remember listening to the hymn and loving it immediately - it felt like I had always known it. I also remember the discussion around the dinner table about Elder Kimball's suggested change. I was taught important doctrine there and knew that I was indeed a Child of God.

Years later, as a teen, in the turbulent 60's there was great public discussion about the existence of God, whether He was Dead or not, who we are, where we came from, agency, the power of "the devil made me do it," and life after death. There was a transcendental fervor and the hippies were driving the discussion. I remember sitting on my bed one afternoon and looking in the mirror, thinking, "who am I?" It didn't take 2 seconds before the answer came - I am a child of God. It was concise, succinct, and powerful. I knew who I was, I knew God's plan, and I would follow Him in faith. I had no doubts then and have none now. Some would call my faith nothing but brainwashing - but I can no more deny my knowledge of these truths than I can deny that I am a living, breathing human being. They have provided a sure foundation that has brought me great joy through the years.

Many years later I would have the opportunity to teach these truths in my own home and to my own children. I have often thought of a charge that Pres. Harold B. Lee gave to the CES leaders about teaching in a talk entitled, "Loyalty." He said, "You're to teach the old doctrines not so plain that they can just understand, but you MUST teach the doctrines of the Church so plainly that no one can misunderstand." I tried to do that but I was surprised one day when Cherstin came to me and asked when her knees were going to turn gray. She told me that she had been waiting and waiting and just wanted to know when that was going to happen. I was confused and tried to ascertain what she was talking about. Finally she blurted out, "you know, 'I am a child of God and so my knees are gray'." I started to chuckle when I realized that she had the words wrong and so I enunciated them as clearly as I could. However, I was stunned when she repeated them back to me, "Oh! 'I am a child of God and so my knees are great!'" Obviously the difficulty was with the word "knees" and I needed to spend some time teaching the doctrines taught in the hymn! LOL

I never, ever watch and listen to a Primary Sacrament Meeting Program without thinking about Joey's first one. As a child Joey was high energy. Always on the go. Always with something on his mind. And always fully engaged in whatever he was trying to do. His Primary teacher, Sister Schwendiman, was a young mother who seemed to appreciate the wriggles, off-the-wall comments, and eagerness of the 12 three year olds who were her class. Joey adored her. We were glad about that because it meant that he was more apt to follow her directions and be obedient. He had gotten dressed that morning in his little blue suit, vest, white shirt, and tie. But unknown to me was how excited he was to be wearing his brand new "UnderRoos" (themed underwear - in this case - Superman). Seated on the stand with his teacher and his class, and the rest of the Primary, things looked pretty good. Rich and I were seated in the middle of the congregation and I looked up in horror as I realized that Sister Schwendiman was paying rapt attention to what was happening at the podium...but further down her row was Joey who was obviously not paying attention...trying to show his buddies his new UnderRoos. It would have been okay if he had just told them about them but no! he had to show them and he had decided that it was best to take off his suit coat, vest, shirt, tie, and pants so that the class could see it all! LOL I was mortified and Rich just couldn't contain his laughter...nor could many in the congregation. With the snickers and laughter it wasn't too long before Sister Schwendiman looked around and saw what was happening...she was pretty mortified too! LOL Through the years I have often thought of this incident and in my own mind it has become somewhat of a metaphor to remind me how quickly we can become distracted from the things of eternity by the cares of the world...and how we can never take our eyes off our responsibilities and charges because it only takes a moment for disaster to occur.

Rich seldom ever watches a Primary Program without remembering sitting in the congregation with Wanda (age 2 1/2) and Joey (nearly 1) while I was on the stand playing the piano. I remember looking down and finding that he and the children were not there, but it wasn't until after the meeting that I learned what had actually happened. Wanda was just learning how to go potty and we had taken her to the bathroom before the meeting began. Things had gone well for them through the opening of the meeting, the sacrament, announcements, etc. but about half way through the program Rich heard a waterfall and looked around to see what it was just as he was getting thoroughly soaked. Wanda had been standing on the wooden bench and just let go. Rich said that it was a veritable lake on the bench and he quickly used the blanket he had with him to mop it up the best he could and then he grabbed the children and fled the chapel in his soaking wet suit. LOL When I reflect on this little event I am reminded of the legions of men and women and children who patiently support behind the scenes and acknowledge that without their support much of what gets done would never have a chance of being accomplished if not for them!

This year Desi and Cherstin have both expressed their love for the music that the children have learned for the Sacrament Meeting Program. They have delighted in teaching their children the songs and the doctrines contained in them. And the children have loved learning the songs and singing them at the top of their lungs...anywhere and everywhere they go. And, because they have sung them with such gusto they have even had the opportunity to teach nonmembers a little of these sacred truths. Out of the mouths of babes! We really are the leaven for this world.

Sister Lant, recently released General Primary President, said:
"Brothers and sisters, we are the angels that Heavenly Father has sent today to bless the children, and we can help them to one day see the face of the Savior as we teach the principles of the gospel and fill our homes with the joy of living them. Together we can come to know Him. We can feel of His love and His blessings. And through Him we can return to the presence of the Father. We can do this as we are willing to be obedient, faithful, and diligent in following His teachings."

Gratefully. because of faithful parents and teachers there is a whole new generation who are preparing to do whatever the Lord requires and because they are armed with knowledge and faith and testimony they will be able to do so valiantly and will assist in bringing our Heavenly Father's children home to Him, to live in His presence, to see His face, and to be together forever.

Emmett and Memory Lane

Okay - Cherstin - I have tried to post on the Family Reunion Blog but when I log in I get here - from a dashboard????? I have no idea what that is or how to get on to the other blog - HELP!!!! LOL

Today I have been awfully teary. I have been cleaning out the garage (almost done!) and as a result I have come across all kinds of wonderful memories, and some sad ones too. As I sit here tonight I am noting that it is our little Emmett's third birthday - where did the time go??? It seems like only yesterday when I reached down into the isolette and held him for the first time. He was the most peaceful little guy - nothing seemed to rattle him. He loved to be swaddled and the more tightly the better. Who would of guessed that he would have grown into such a bundle of energy and excitement? The words, "I do it myself!" will always have such special memories attached to him as he tries to do anything he decides he wants to do. You have to walk a fine line with this little one so as to not destroy his little spirit all the while you are trying to safeguard him, siblings, and property! LOL I hardly ever go in a door when I don't think of him trying to open it and hold it for others to go through - he tries so hard to be a "gentleman." While I smile about it now I do have to say that is can be awfully frustrating when you are trying to hurry or when someone else is trying to go through and he DEMANDS and COMMANDS they give way! More than once we have tried to explain to stranger that he is trying to be a gentleman and they still seem skeptical about his ability to open and hold a door that is huge and heavy without help - and you better not help! LOL With such fierceness of independence, pure defiance, and strength of will it might be easy to miss how really loving and open he is, and that would be a tragedy. There is a goodness and gentleness in his nature and a readyness to learn and to explore. I sure hope that he has a wonderful day today!

As I think about him my mind races through all of my precious grandchildren, to their parents, and to my childhood. It seems like just yesterday that I was a little girl in the home of my parents. I thought they were perfect! I wanted to be just like them when I grew up and now, suddenly, I am not just a mom, but a grandmother of 21 with 4 more due! How did that happen? (okay - I know about the birds and the bees - geeeees! LOL)

Time really does fly on wings of lightening. I have often said that I had thought I would be a mother of preschoolers forever - but it seems as though it sped to warp speed when Wanda went to school. Oh, I am here to say that every phase of life has its beauties and difficulties - but I sure loved being a wife and a mom and having my little ones. I loved being pregnant and feeling their life blossom within me. I loved the special bond of nursing them. I loved watching them grow and reach milestone after milestone. I loved learning about who these spiritual giants are with whom we had been entrusted. I love them. I love the beautiful, talented, wise, kind, and special sons and daughters that they have chosen to spend eternity with, and I love their children, each and every one.

My mother used to tell me to cherish the moments then because they are fleeting. I always wondered why she told me that so often. I was cherishing them - but as I am now where she was I realize just how fleeting those moments are and today I have sauntered down memory lane and wished too often that I had done a better job of journaling, scrapbooking, letter writing, calendaring, and taking pictures during those wonderful, stressful, event filled days. They are days never to be forgotten and I am so grateful that I have had the privilege of spending my days with these wonderful, magnificent, funny, compassionate, smart (the adjectives could go on quite literally forever, you know?) people. I can only pray that we all keep the commandments of our Heavenly Father, honor the covenants that we have made, and do all that we can to be worthy to kneel together as a family in the courts on high...it won't really be heaven to me if even just one of us isn't there!